Resolutions
I will not do resolutions
Goals
Objectives
For the new year
My life is not a project to be managed
My heart will not be filled with checkmarks
(well, maybe a little, but certainly not enough)
I will not fool myself into thinking my life is a house
that can be built brick by brick
(only worthy upon completion)
And not a painting I have already made
by flinging brushes and tipping paint
in my rush to build walls
I will write self-indulgent poetry
that no one will read
and take selfies
that no one will see
I will let the dishes pile up
and pat my husband sweetly
when he blames himself
for the disastrous state of our house
I will speak too loudly
and listen too quietly
I will replay conversations in my head for 3 days after a party
I will not stress
about how much I have to do
until suddenly I realize
how time has passed
But I will still take naps
I will judge myself too harshly
for things that bother no one
and forgive my sins too quickly
I will fail to be the person
I want others to see
but I will succeed at
being a person
I will learn to speak
where people can hear me
I will find joy
and hold it close
I will stand still
in space and time
and let my atoms flow
into the cracks and crevices
of the universe
(My heart will be filled with life)
And I will marvel at
this freedom I have found