Sleep, you slippery midnight sprite,
You tiptoe off, dodge me each night.
I fluff my pillow, count some sheep,
But you just ghost me. Where's my sleep?!
I lie there flopping, brain on fire,
Reciting texts and all my ire.
Like that one time in seventh grade...
(Oh My God, brain, let's not replay!)
The clock ticks louder, walls close in,
I'm half a gremlin, full of sin.
The moonlight mocks me, cool and sweet
While I stew sweaty in my sheets.
I’ve tried hot tea, and yoga too,
No screens past ten, a drink or two.
Yet here I am, a sleepless wench,
With under-eyes that scream unhinged.
Because, dear world, here's the stitch:
No sleep? I’m just a cranky bitch.
A snappy, snarling, rest-deprived
Volcano in a human hide.
So Sleep, you shady, wily flirt,
Wrap me in dreams that don't hurt.
I’ll promise snuggles, whispered praise
Just knock me out for seven days.