The End Game of Relationship
I have been preparing this kind of cut-off since I know that the person that I was pursuing wasn't really wanted a relationship—a tie. I knew it exactly at the beginning but I wanted to change it, alas I gave up and end it like as I always did before.
The food, the memories and my foolish behavior would vanish as I am writing it down and it will slowly calm me in a certain way that it feels so therapeutic in a way that I can't express. I know that it wasn't pretty sure, but a call didn't get answered, the messages didn't get replied. What else that I can expect from the unusual behavior, except being intentionally ignoring while doing something that I know it's hurting me. I tried my best to think positive untill I knew that it's the end. And I need to end it. I was emotionally unprepared but I logically prepared all of these actions when someday I fell down. I had to scream out the name. I had to cry and let my tear down. I had to regret having a relationship like that. I had to feel it breaking my heart so deep that I can move forward without looking back. Yeah, hatred, abhorrence, whatever you may call, it's all upon that person.
Then, I think that relationship is kind of stupid. Yeah, I felt so lonely but what did I get in return, a valley of misery—with a waterfall of tears, a dense and dark forest covered the stream of river that fall upon the waterfall. You might see a beautiful scenery but it's hiding the misery.
I have to go on. Life never stops. And people do come and go like a customers on a shop. But I really can't tell if I have to cut off. If I didn't cut off, I might go insane to control this feeling of love. Yeah, I might think that I love that person until it becomes an obsession. I need to leave, cause it's no good for me and I think for that person as well.
Then, I realized that why do I need a relationship? When all people were acting like this. Why do I need to bear this? When I know that I can stop being in a relationship and cut off this circle of misery. An end game for relationship is pretty sure an answer. So, a good-bye for relationship is not as awful as it might seem, cause I have friends and family while I am trying to stand on my own feet.
And later on, I have الله with me. It's time for me to have my deen again. I know this is so wrong to come back when I am in a misery. But I think it's human nature that they need something to rely on and that's religion for me.
050595, you're awful and I cut you off. And for all those people that want to get close to me. I am sorry, I lock my gate of relationship and even weld iron to it. My end game for relationship.