Convincing Self to Stay
I keep a few reasons in my back pocket for myself when the suicidal ideation starts trickling up.
First, I would be breaking the sixth commandment of Moses.
Second, I don’t want to cause any unnecessary suffering when life is hard as it is. I know my parents will suffer greatly if I killed myself. Just watching that lady in Avatar 2 cry from the death of her eldest son (I am the eldest) has etched that sorrow and grief into my memory.
Third, I am a proud pussy – I can’t stand pain – and I have no intention of looking up how I might kill myself with the least pain.
Fourth, I could have more fun playing games. Just in case there aren’t any in heaven. Fun is a surprising quick fix against nihilism.
… a anobody out …
I don’t capitalize and end with a foot-stop as a reminder that ISHO | Jesus | God is the beginning and the end. Jesus is the capitalization and the footstep. A stupid religious twist to grammar, I guess. Okay, I will stop writing this nonsense.