Tidying up room of a heart.
I think a purpose for this blog is as the following.
I am here to clean out my past and my future. My nightmares and daymares.
I would like to sweep up all the dust, open all the closets, let all the skeletons pour out.
Because there is more beauty in the past than I would like to imagine. And there is more danger in the future that I would like to imagine.
My job is to purify my past and my future. Make peace with what has already happened, and what has not yet happened.
And as Dumbledore said, there is much relief in confession. Confessing the past. Confessing the past. Tis’ a path to a honesty.
I started the day eating with family, cleaning with family, then talking to my waifu, then writing letters to The King and my waifu. I then start writing a web for this blog. A web to add to The Web.
As I wrote this, The Girl passed through my mind. I pray that God will help her, heal her. I will not start with “My Father” or end with “Amen”. I will let ISHO do that for me.
I have broken a few rules of writing that I have made. There is a time to create rules, and there is a time to break them.
In this post, I have tried to break all of them. No quoting. No … (sentence) … . No confession of sins. And … my mind has stopped.
When you are tired, you can stop quoting. Then back to it!
I hide my identity for various reasons, but here a few. First, my family is Chinese, and I have written many shameful things on this blog. I don’t want to bring shame to my family, I want to bring honour. But I need this toilet to flush down all the shit in my life … and hopefully find some crystals nestled in the shit. Second, popularity is a two-sided coin. It hurts, and it helps. So I rather not have popularity at all. Jesus was popular and he paid the price for it. I am going to learn to not do the same. I want to live a quiet life, and to mind my own business – writing, cleaning, relating – all these use my hands.
Man, writing a blog is hard when I am listening to songs of my language. Listening to “Whistle While You Work” and trying to whistle.
It’s 9:54 and I still have more than a hour to write more. But I think this post is long enough already.
It’s 43 days since retirement, 242 days since rebirth, and 9810 days since I was born.
Thanks ISHO! You trust me with another day. You trust me way too bloody much. Kill me already.