Do not manipulate the experience
The frustration turns into overwhelmedness. Overwhelmedness becomes irritability, inadvertent outbursts even. Old memories bring back resentments I believed overcome. What others do (or don't), have (or don't have), their achievements, again feeds the envy.
Expectations, the root of all the maladies.
That task at work I thought would be straightforward and ended up being incredibly hard.
The plans for the weekend that could not happen (at least not exactly as planned).
The frustration for not speaking Dutch despite the (subtle but constant) social pressure; plus how others (ex-pats as well) do speak Dutch.
Writing becoming shitty posts.
Unmet expectations. The same substance, different forms.
Then, I have to fix it and quickly get rid of my own expectations. Paradoxically, yet another expectation.
An ancient Zen teaching: “Do not manipulate the experience”
Whatever thought or feeling emerges, let it be. When it fades away, let it go. Things come and go without intervention. Being ignored or being listened to, feel angry or joyful, understand or being understood (or neither). All the same. When the experience is not manipulated, it is all the same.
Does it fix it? No.
No problem. No solution.