Schizo Halloween Afternoon
Earlier today, I walked around my neighborhood in my most schizo cyberpunk soldier costume. I found a homeless meth addict woman, gave her tobacco snus. Found 2 totally liberated bosses of crack addicts, hung out drinking. Passionately narrated print copy of Deleuze at the drainage ditch. Met a 36 year old white guy who has been to prison, been around the streets too much. He thinks he's outside of the spacetime/history system entirely. Brought him to my house for a bit just because we're too alike. Showed him a weapon I carry, he said it's smart, he watered my tortoise. Cool enough. I kept explaining to them the lengths I go to keep a roof over my head, foolishly strive for my parents' approval for making art, that I'll never have. One of the crack addicts wants to make weapons for me, which I won't. He realized I had a whole budget film production system in my backpack, props. I needed to do something irrational like this again. It wasn't dangerous for me at all. Most would consider this as life threatening. The 3 men exist outside of the system completely, stay semi safe, above the worse crime shit mentally. That life is not for me.
I grew up in a blue collar family, redneck interests like deep sea fishing, NASCAR, camping in San Diego somehow. Dad is a lifelong thief and kept stealing from work. Retired now. We're middle class and comfortable. Which equates to $2 million property equity for us. I want a safe and secure life, have really done TOO MUCH to maintain that. The irrational, schizo part of my head wants to leave this all for the liberation of the streets, vagrancy, traveling in sketchy ways. I can mask well enough to bedazzle normies. I want to be left alone for a bit, step back.If you also have wealthy, upper middle class, or house rich cash poor situation – cherish it, do not reject the hand up in life. California property values are so crazy, that by buying in 1990, debt underwater to keep the house, finishing the mortgage, deeds, inheritances – we are finally well off. I have seen so many friends who were richer than me growing up. They try to spice up their lives with being traveler crust punks, faking anarchism, drug problems, suicides, and they do it to themselves. By tolerating bad parents, staying at home, keeping real jobs – that is the way – 100 percent. I have seen so many friends who were richer than me growing up. They try to spice up their lives with being traveler crust punks, faking anarchism, drug problems, suicides, and they do it to themselves. By tolerating bad parents, staying at home, keeping real jobs – that is the way – 100 percent.
Everybody should have a punk, crazy artist, techno rave, outdoorsman, really seeing the streets, live a nice van life thing for a bit. I can tell you so much more about how fully steering into danger will fuck you up beyond repair, you'll burn bridges, ruin your future stupidly. It's a cruel world.