Conquering the Barbarian Altanis: Session 159
This was an impromptu session with my brother, father, and partner. Try to guess who played which character.
Adventurers
| Character | Race | Class | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dita Afrodita | Human | Cleric level 1 | Lover of everything intellectual. |
| Holy Biggus Dongus I | Human | Cleric level 1 | Worshiper of the Dong. |
| Holy Biggus Dongus II | Human | Fighter level 1 | Also worshiper of the Dong. |
| Bobby I | Human | Fighter level 1 | A fighter. |
| Bobby II | Human | Magic-User level 1 | Thrown out of the academy due to his immense wisdom. Relative of Bobby I. |
| Bobby III | Human | Magic-User level 1 | Thrown out of the academy due to his massive bulk. Friend of Bobby II. |
Summer of year 4435 according to the Balozkinar’s Corrected Commoners’ Calendar
“Screw this, let's go drinking in the village.”
Three adventurers—cleric Dita Afrodita, cleric Holy Biggus Dongus, and magic-user Bobby—immediately abandoned dungeon in front of them, judging the place to be too dangerous.
Therefore they headed back to Ahyf, a fishing village overlooking the Winedark sea. There they partied and wasted their coin for days.
Dita entertained the villagers, Bobby was telling everyone what is real and what is not, and Biggus Dongus was asking around for other places of interest.
Wise Bobby collected pine cones and filled them with resin. Then he asked Dita to bless them. These, he was sure, would be perfect firebombs.
Weighing their options, the trio decided to return to the dungeon overlooking the sea. It sounded way better than going up the Ghinarian Hills swarming with cannibal barbarians flaying passerbys.
The dungeon was in fact an old fort carved into the side of the cliff. A narrow ledge, barely sufficient for one person, led to the entrance, an opening in the cave. The tunnel then led to a bridge over the river spilling into the sea, which connected the tunnel with the stone dock.
Stone platform stretched for some hundred yards. Stone wall was to the right, while three lower platforms were to the left. Rubble and debris covered the pathway.
Adventurers could see three ancient rowboats attached to each of the three piers. Visually inspecting them confirmed that all were in a rather poor shape. There was an interesting chest in the middle boat.
While the adventurers dreamt of treasure, half a dozen stirges surprised them from above. The fight was brutal. Monsters dive bombed with ferocity.
Dongus swatted one off Dita, opting to ignore the one sucking him dry.
“Forget the pine cones! Get them off me!” he yelled to Bobby. Alas, the magic-user was preoccupied with his “magical” cones. Another stirge rammed Dongus, driving its proboscis through his soft neck. The cleric was dead.
Dita crushed stirge after stirge. She also crushed Dongus's head, missing the monster on him. By the time she was finished there was no one and nothing breathing but her.
Overtaken by grief she left the dungeon, travelled to Ahyf, and then travelled to Hara. She hoped to gain audience with the Great Wizard-King Klekess Racoba, so she could ask him to bring her two friends back to life.
Alas, that did not go as she had hoped. So she recruited two new adventurers instead: Holy Biggus Dongus II and Bobby II. Together they travelled to Ahyf and prepared for the dungeon expedition.
They spent weeks following Bobby's plan to create three resin filled strawmen. Bobby II argued that burning them would surely keep the stirges away.
Dungeon was where they left it. Corpses were gone. Adventurers left a strawman on each pier. Then they focused on the pier with rowboat that housed a single chest.
Dongus II was smart. Instead of going into rotten boat he threw the rope around the chest and pulled it out. Boat creaked as it snapped and capsized, and eventually sunk.
Opening the chest revealed a thousand or so silver pieces, a silver necklace, and a dagger with pale bluish glow.
The party discussed what to do next for so long that they were surprised by four lizardmen jumping out of the water. Two jumped at the far side of the pier, while other two jumped out quite close to Dongus II and Dita.
Bobby II was promptly driven down and stabbed to death. Dita and Dongus smashed their opposition, cutting them down and crushing their limbs. They collected the treasure and left for Ahyf.
Back in the village they recruited Bobby III, another magic-user. This one was a fan of Magic Missile. No pine cone nor resin fetish.
Dita led the refreshed party back to the dungeon. This time they ignored the piers and explored rest of the dock.
At the far end was a twenty feet wide gate with rusty portcullis. Iron grates were rusted, locking the portcullis hanging some three feet off the ground.
In the center of the dock was another portal, albeit with no obvious gates. It was more like a twenty feet wide and tall alcove with flame motifs. Bobby III carried one of the strawmen into the alcove and then set it on fire. Nothing happened. Except smoke.
The trio reconvened by the rusted portcullis.
A large domed hall sprawled beyond the gates. A spiral of mystic runes and scrawls dominated the floor. Three corpses laid on the floor, their garments rotted beyond recognition.
Bobby III cast his single Magic Missile at one of the corpses. It turned over from the force, but otherwise remained dormant.
Dongus II the cowboy lassoed the corpses closest to him and then dragged it towards the portcullis. Corpse twitched and rose. Veteran pulled on the rope, pinning the undead to the iron grates. Dita and Bobby III quickly dispatched of the corpse by smashing and stabbing it.
Dongus repeated the process on the second corpse. Adventurers' tactic worked brilliantly once again. Third corpse was a different story. This one was powerful enough to pull itself free from the mighty thews of Holy Biggus Dongus II. It ducked under the grates, and lunged in savage assault.
Dita blocked, but was clawed. She found it difficult to move, and was soon entirely immobile. Dongus did not fare much better. It was Bobby III and his glowing dagger that saved the day. He drove it into the neck of vile undead. Then he touched his paralysed allies with magic dagger, silver necklace, and other items from the backpack. Nothing got them to move. So he dragged both to the dungeon entrance.
An hour or so later both Dita and Dongus regained control of their bodies. Adventurers called it a day and returned to Ahyf.
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