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The Lone Wolf

“If I have to be you, I’m fitting in. If I get to be me, I belong.” -Anonymous

Remember that trendy “lone wolf” catchphrase? You know the one, it’s usually said in a really macho Hollywood movie? Yeah… aside from the fact that people who use it don’t know much about wolves (come on, where are your animal kingdom trivia skills?) they also don’t know much about humans. The tricky truth is: there is no ‘lone wolf’ kind of person. We are biologically hardwired for connection and belonging. I believe the belonging word is key, because it holds the interpersonal connection we have when we feel seen, safe and accepted as ourselves. Maybe for you that feeling is warm and subtle in your chest or perhaps a more bubbly excitement. In contrast, when we are trying to fit in, most of us end up feeling…incongruent. Sometimes our longing to fit in can drive us to words or actions that don’t feel aligned with our values (cognitive-dissonance is your $10 word here) and things just feel a little off. Maybe way off. Perhaps you’ve had enough practice at knowing when you’re trying to fit in, or maybe you’re showering a week later and the realization hits you. I find the home remedy for this incongruence is seeing people who let me show up exactly as I am and blasting some good music. It’s no coincidence that Bay Barbers has both those things available for you.

At Bay Barbers connection is what we build our space around. You have, and will always belong here.

-Indie Liebau