Intensely personal, sweeping, sultry landscape. Sometimes, sweet. Sometimes, salty.

Which squirrelly rabbit hole did I manage to successfully skate down, today?. Yesterday?. I try to keep myself mildly interested (if not actively engaged) in life beyond my own literal and metaphorical four walls, by also simultaneously listening to my personalized music playlist, and local law enforcement/emergency services radio scanner traffic. A somewhat odd combination, at different times. For me, it mercifully serves to dull the otherwise deafening and overwhelming, pervasive silence that's gradually eroding away at my particular brand of sanity. Sand filtering itself through my ears, of sorts. Grit almost invariably included. Aside from my latest saga of unanticipated legal pre-trial phases, with me as an ongoing complaining and testifying witness in multiple cases), some semblance of routine has now slowly begun to seep back into the more mundane aspects of my everyday existence. Two weeks ago, I was driven into a city, stopping at a prescribed, bland big-box store. My very first, public 'outing' since, let's see – late July?. Minus my sunglasses. I found myself feeling somewhat bored and fairly disinterested pretty quickly, though. All of those once fleeting fantasies and material fancies failed to materialize. After a short, impatient, restless browse that proved itself to be anything but a brief respite, I was suddenly craving being back in the intense security of my sheltered space, as fast as was possible. My driver, perfectly straighforward, unobtrusive and obliging, in his own way, quite quickly recognized that this certainly wasn't the most opportune time for an upbeat casual conversational exchange, and wordlessly transported me 'back', while also thoughtfully carrying my distracted purchases upstairs for me. I shed more than my fair share of sheer relief tears, that day. Stupid, isn't it, what havoc that hiding out renders upon a vulnerable human being. Upon reflection, one thing that did momentarily capture my attention, was how expensive basic consumables have become since it is that I can last remember. Unfortunately, since my re-entry 'trip', I've had an additional realization that I'll need to buy myself some new shoes quite emergently. For court appearance purposes, for one. My present, only pair are now letting in more air, cold and rain, than shoe. Shoes aren't something that I'll simply, randomly blind buy myself, either. Still, there are (and will likely continue to be) considerably bigger, pinker, and much more boisterous elephants continuing to be stumbling around the proverbial room, chilling amongst themselves. This might well be proving to be my second chance. Yet, it still does not bode well, nor promise a third. Nothing is promised. No thing. To no-one.