An Exercise in Futility
I started this blog with the intention of having a platform, for me, that likely not many others would see, to express my thoughts. A kind of journal, I guess. But what instead happened was a slow rot of perfectionism deterring me from saying anything.
With the current era of the internet that we're in, the last thing I want to do is be the guy who spreads misinformation, or accidentally goes viral in the worst way possible and starts some kind of drama war. I'm just me, I'm just here, I just want to talk about stuff, but I don't want to be some kind of authority or “influencer,” I just want to.. you know, shout into the void, and maybe one or two people overhear? That's what a blog is for, right?
I got into a brain loop where I wanted to do these big “essays” and have some kind of journalistic integrity, citing every source. But, the honest truth is that I'm not a journalist. I enjoy learning things, I have all kinds of notes and things I've written that will likely never see the light of day. Sometimes I'd have an idea, and a narrative, only to realize during research that the reality is much more complicated.
I'm not that guy, maybe once in a blue moon. I just want to talk about stuff, express an opinion, shower thoughts, verbalize the chatter in my head, anything. I'll cite a source if it's relevant for conversation, but I won't go out of my way to cite a source to reinforce something I'm saying, not unless I tag a post as “essay.” That feels awful to say, but I don't think the internet was ever about truth or debate, it was about honesty. As we used to say: “you can't trust everything you hear on the internet,” words we used to live by. If I'm wrong or saying something untrue, the least I can tell you is that I did it honestly. I'm not an authority on anything, the only thing I offer here is my curiosity and passion.
I hope this can be a turning point. I made this blog for a reason, to fill a void. I want to fill that void. I have all kinds of things I'd like to talk about and express.