The only dream I've ever had
What would I do if I stopped?
If I walked away from this dream,
this purpose I’ve clung to,
who would I be?
I built my identity on this,
wrote my worth in its shadow,
and now it’s crushing me,
making me sick.
I can’t stop thinking about quitting,
about running away,
about letting it all fall apart,
but if I do,
what’s left of me?
I’m questioning my place here,
standing in this reality
I fought so hard to create,
and all I feel is lost.
Can I do this?
Not just the school, the deadlines,
the never-ending pressure,
but can I do this?
Can I live this life,
be this person,
wear this identity?
I wanted this so badly,
it was my only dream,
the light I chased for so long,
and now I’m questioning
if it was ever mine to begin with.
But who am I without this?
Who will I be if I quit?
I built my whole life around this path,
sacrificed pieces of myself,
fought like hell to be here,
and now all I want is to run.
But where would I go?
What would be left of me?
How will I find purpose
if it’s not this?
Everyone says this is who I am,
that I was meant for this,
but it feels foreign,
like I’m wearing a stranger’s skin,
and I don’t recognize my own reflection.
I’m halfway through,
too far to turn back,
and the pressure is suffocating,
a weight on my chest
I can’t seem to lift.
I’m questioning everything,
my choices, my dreams,
my sanity, my reality,
and I don’t have any answers.
I fought so hard,
wanted this so badly,
and now that I have it,
I don’t know if I want it at all.
But if I quit,
who am I?
If I stop,
what’s left of me?
I can’t breathe,
can’t find the ground,
lost in this spiral of doubt,
and I don’t know how to get out.