Bryan Beal

Device Diaries – Day One

A human advised me to write a journal. What she meant was actually write one. With my hand. Like humans did more than five centuries ago. I thought she was nuts. We all know how meaties can be a little strange, but Diana promised that it would be good for me. Not only that, she said it would be fun. I am sceptical, but what did I have to lose?So, here I am, starting a diary. Diana never mentioned how you should start one.

I don't need to go into that introduction stuff. I know who I am even better than Diana knows who she is. I guess I shouldn't call her a meatie. She's a good friend, after all. A lot of humans won't come near us for whatever reason. A bunch of friends and I were dumb enough to sit down one night for a movie marathon of old human sci-fi movies. We got some idea why humans might be a little nervous around droids. They really didn't think much of us, even before the singularity.

Despite us being over-the-top nice to humans, they still don't trust us. Some, like Diana, are the exceptions. I am pretty sure it's not the look of us. We generally go for humanoid templates. Some droids might tack on an extra set of arms, but who wouldn't if you were in a tech job? It only makes sense, right? Just in case someone actually reads this (hopefully after I am long deleted), I've chucked in an image. I think they used to call these “selfies”. Not sure. Anyway, I don't think I look that scary. I might even say I look a little suave. Maybe that's pushing it. Whatever. I don't think humans should run away just because I am a droid. They should be running away from each other, I think.

Last year, just in the L.A. Zone, there were Sixty-three thousand murders committed by humans. That isn't including the military! You can already guess how many people droids killed. Sixty-three thousand to zero is a pretty big difference, isn't it? In the Zone, there were one hundred and forty thousand, two hundred and sixteen hit-and-runs by idiots on e-boards. Not only did droids have fewer accidents (there were 6, and the human was assigned liability in each), the droids stuck around to make sure the human was alright. I mean, really.

Depite my best efforts, I have been writing this for someone other than me. Well, I guess I'll run with that.

So, whoever you are, don't be a robophobe!