unspoken words


Capek ya aku selalu ngomongin kamu terus, hehe.

Everytime, everywhere, everyday, to anyone, the topic is always about you. How you means special to me but burn me inside, being the one who get my attention and my whole day. How can you ruin my life like this?

I don't know how to say but loving you is unexpected. We are childhood friends (?). From kindergarten, elementary school, and now we meet again at our seventeen life. It was so unexpected that we would bond like this. Ah sorry, we were never bonded before, hahaha. I mean of having this kind of interaction with you is shocking, and i never imagined before. Loving you wasn't in my plan.

I will not waiting for you but if you wanna come (again), i gave the little space for you. So when you're here, take a good look at what i can show you. Let's play the game one more time, June.

After we don't talk the way we used to, i kept thinking about what went wrong between us. But the answer is, nothing is wrong. You just never wanted me.

After we became the stranger, i open the doors to new people trying to replace that part of me i lost. Yet, none of them could fill that gap the way you effortlessly did— the way i allowed you to. It's not as easy as you who find new flowers, i'm still staring at dried flowers that have long been dry.

Of all the paragraphs I made, it really only talks about you. You're someone who can make me do things. I find joy in your company, you bring a smile to my face so easily, but also burned me to ashes. That's what drives me crazy.

I know, i know that i deserve better.

But the thing is, they don't know you like i know you.

They don't know how you made me feel like belonging to someone. Nobody else ever made me feel that way but you. They don't understand how heartfelt it is even when you just whisper my name— when you say you care. Or when you just starring to my hair and say i look pretty, that's way i wouldn't cut it for you.
They don't know how i feel so alive just because you send me some voice note and need me, even though i'm already sitting cold and lifeless.

That's us. You can make up your mind and i always accept.

If I could give you one thing, i would give you the ability to see yourself through my perspective, only then would you realize who you are for me.