Realization of Inequity
3:16 a.m
April 15 2021
I just now realized I have a blocked memory of being sexual abused before my mother had started her new family. Turns out She was fully aware and she never gave me the option to decide whether or not I wanted to know what occurred to me as a child. That would have simply explained the nightmares disguised as dreams.I feel that my struggle to find out who, what, or why has left me with the sense of me being labeled a liar in my failed attempts to discover why I always ask why? Why my intrusion in many forms or size have always bothered me to the point of giving me the sense betrayal. Always having a mind set on always prepared in the form of alertness which is just intensified focus on your senses observing you environment to analysis to any situation that may arise from time to time. This way to have the proper tools so as to fear “smart response to actual danger.” Fear is only a tool, and like all things to much will overwhelm you and turn from alertness and ability to not improve but focus your senses and ability to statistically reveal the mechanics or nature of things. The way only true laws on God's earth. Physics. All on this world are governed by this fact. Whether it is a simple reaction to an action, like 3rd law. Newton's 3rd law applies to more then just the physical world. Like for example if can be viewed as karma