Sexual Deviant!
“My Departure from this Place”
The night before mental health visit!
When I was working at an dairy. I was sleeping during during the day. It was very warm. I was exhausted as well. Then I suddenly awoke to my sister in law giggling taking a look of my morning erection. She then began to giggle and said “go back to sleep, go back to sleep. I then collapsed back to sleep. Then once again on the same day. I awoke to her again in the room. Common sense would be not to return.
Then the night I before i went in I recalled that event. Then that thought led to threw reminder that my wife lost her virginity to her EX. Then i felt a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. So all combined, it destroyed my mind and world. All for remembering a stupid, idiotic, childish act of my sister in law which was uncalled for and out of line.
I told my wife on the way to the mental health. So I spoke to her again after being dosed by large amounts of anti psychotics. My wife then tells me she spoke to her immature little sister. She had convinced my wife I was misunderstanding and she was just using her light look for something. Which I obediently accepted after being introduced to the anti psychotics. Now that I'm off of them. It bothers me immensely. How can someone who has suffered from similar trauma do something like that to anyone? That's because it wasn't true trauma. Only manipulation. She is now an acquaintance in my mind who is not trust worthy. I must address this issue. For it has left me distraught and dismayed. It's the accumulation of events.
Mother in law caused me to feel a certain way due to the fact that i was caused to feel irrelevant as if since i have no income I have no rights. Not even privacy to be in my briefs. In the room. I was coming off the meds and was wide awake. Then for her to leave the door open as she walked away asking me to get my drunk wife while I'm half naked left me very disturbed. Along with a sense of the need to become more secure.
I knew I would be unable to voice my opinion due to the meds. You avoid conflict or dismiss it just because it doesn't bother you. Over time I've noticed the behavior toward me shift. From being exclude by telling me, “I don't fit in the car and I am not allowed to go. Treated unfairly even by my beloved wife. Which to thus day still puts a dent in my heart. Constantly disrespected by an mischievous and manipulative sister in law after asking for car key, then being told to fuck off. Along being ridiculed after voicing my concerns about the hormone that causes breast as an side effect. To which my father in law ridiculed in front of his company. Along with my wife dismissing, neglecting me and ultimately stepping all over me. Thus leaving with no other choice but to cease with the medication for i would have been miserable for the last few months. I am intelligent enough to realize I've lost my wife either way. At least without the meds I can put up a fighting chance for I have it not in me to quit. Ask thank you God for giving me the strength to triumph over any obstacle the unworthy one has set forth in my path today in order to remain vigilant on the road to progress for all. You must separate yourself from negativity in order to remain positive when struggling in dreadful times. Heed my warning. Choose your circle wisley, for there will always be a Judas. Halting progress in the name for profit.
Mind Over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart OVER ALL!