Insight into mental illness. Bipolar Schitzo effective

Today is August 7th 2022 and It's 5:45 a.m.  Seems to be a chilly night with a bit of humidity. Which I find odd since it being the end of summer. I've been living in my mind for the most part of the day. Realizing questions I have that only a certified specialist might be able to shed some light on.  Unfortunately thanks to the pandemic.  They are in high demand these days therefore I have been told I'm on the waiting list for therapy.  For example, my inner voice I hear when I'm reading, well before my repressed memory resurfaced it used to sound of that is a adolescent young kid.  When I would voice record myself so I can write it down later.  I would not recognize my voice because it did not sound in comparison when I would hear myself speak out loud.  Now that it is no longer repressed my inner voice now sounds of that of an adult.  I developed the capability to play music in my mind, at will. So long as I remember the lyrics and melody to go along with it.  I imagine all adults can do that, but it's new to me.  I can also sing the lyrics to a song I know while I write down what I'm thinking or copying from my screen at the same time.  It's almost as if that kind of trauma at a very early age ( 4 or 5) stunts or stops your mental capabilitie from maturing to that of an adult mental state.  I also recognize my dysfunctional behavior more actively and try to correct it. I  can meditate for long periods of time. Which was impossible before.  Could barely sit still. I also now realize I need a plan to accomplish goals in life since I have a late start 35 years too late since I realized what trauma clouded my judgment. I now choose to better myself so I can reach my max potential before I expire. I wonder to myself if anyone has cataloged or a better understanding of what I am experiencing. According to my behavioral health counselor from San Joaquin county.  Who saved my life by the way.  “ once your trauma clicks with your behavior that's when you start healing.” He also told me this, and I quote “ People are what they are, not because of you, they are how they want to be and neither you nor anyone else has the authority to change them.  If you feel affected by them, You have to set the limits/ bounderies, to know located yourself, to know how to say “No,” and only allow them to talk to you with mutual respect as a requirement.  The management of your emotions is not in others hands... it is in YOU. Do not use your smart mind to try to know, “why they are like that”... Very smart man.  He is very wise.  He was right. Thank you Ivan Aguilar.  You truly saved my life with your therapy.  GOD BLESS YOU!