New laws won’t help: the doggy-style clip
This weekend I was outraged. Twitter suddenly proposed in the “for you” feed a tweet by someone publicly crying outrage in disgust of a movie posted on tiktok. A child sexual abuse in the family sphere clip.
A guest post I wrote for HAVOCA
The scene
The movie depicts a family/friends gathering in a home setting around a private pool. You see adults around the pool in their bathing suits, some with a beer in hand, seemingly having a relaxing afternoon among friends at home with the kids playing in the pool.
Everyone seems civil and swimsuit dressed. But… not for the faint of heart…
The to me seemingly adolescent girl playing in the pool is bent forward holding the pool side, whipping her bum up and down doggy style against the crutch of the to me pre-adolescent boy. They are ”playing” an adult act, with their swimsuits on. And they seem to enjoy themselves.
The adults move around the pool not even paying attention to the kids ”playing”. And one adult who seems to be lying down on a pool long chair is filming the family/friendly afternoon vibe around the pool, with the kids scene front and centre.
None of the adults reacts. Are you with me? NO ONE (RE)ACTS !
Where are your boundaries?
- Acceptable because the kids have their swimsuits on?
- Acceptable because they are kids among themselves, and there is no adult involved directly in the act?
- Acceptable because it is set around adult friends/family who surely are adequate in judging what’s right or wrong behaviour of their kids?
Allow me to enlighten you: Each and everyone of these adults ought to be in jail, and these children need protection from these adults as well as specialist psychiatric support.
The legal paradise
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child(1989), particularly its Optional protocol to the Convention on the Rights of the Child on the sale of children, child prostitution and child pornography(2002), and the Council of Europe Convention on the Protection of Children against Sexual Exploitation and Sexual Abuse(2010) are clear.
I’ve published about the legal requirements before, but in short:
Any person suspecting any child sexual abuse MUST report it.
Once reported the concerned child(ren) MUST be protected immediately, and the alleged abuse MUST be examined.
Any and all potential evidence MUST be retrieved, received and examined by authorities.
And if there is any doubt as to what is child sexual abuse, it is perfectly defined in the Terminology Guidelines for the protection of children from sexual exploitation and sexual abuse.
While these international laws do not leave any room for interpretation and are executionary, … they have not diminished child sexual abuse.
It is not because these laws have their own international monitoring bodies overlooking states are correctly executing them that states, or their societies, endeavour to deal with child sexual abuse willingly or adequately.
The world is only painstakingly slowly opening up to the realisation child sexual abuse is a widespread phenomenon having no gender or status.
Particularly child sexual abuse in the family sphere, in the circle of trust, is still subject to the most stringent of taboos. And it allegedly accounts for up to 90% of all child sexual abuse.
The voiding of “must act” is prerogative by ourselves
Excuses are servants of silence in our societies. Honour and ego still win, fuelling deliberate amnesia and disbelief. “Other people’s distress” has more importance then the “victims hardship”. The “adult perpetrators” are more important then the “children victims”.
Perpetrators are depicted credible and deemed mentally stable. (Child) Victims by nature are unreliable in their account, and it is found their mental health is challenged. Whether right or wrong, this is the starting status quo a (child) victim faces climbing out of the shadow.
Where does that come from?
Imagine you, non victim, as adult, being pointed as a child sex abusing perpetrator.
Or imagine someone in your family being pointed as child sex offender.
You’d feel stigmatised for life. And sadly people do get condemned on false allegations, too.
Because none of us can tolerate that adult stigma, righting a wronged victim has no place. Evidence is willingly doubted, disbelieved and dismissed. Claimed credibility is virtually always made to win over victim experience under the “reasonable doubt” narrative.
Consequently, regardless of the very clear laws on child sexual abuse, other laws still get enacted to protect perpetrators. The millennia old praxis of omerta on child sexual abuse is made to prevail. Society is kept numb and dumb on the length and breath of the heinous phenomenon, so the adult public does not need to face reality.
Solution?
Booyah ! Meet the international, global, concerted initiative to end online child sexual abuse. A massive marketing machine is crunching everyone into the target solution: make a new law which makes child sexual abuse invisible again.
Yet the offline protecting laws exist, have existed for decennia, and never been properly executed. Online child sexual abuse has its origin offline, always. Existing laws include provisions against online distribution of child sexual abuse material.
Yet, we all stand screaming for these new anti-online-child-sexual-abuse laws in firm belief they will change the world. They will not change anything, other then probably facilitate the non execution of existing laws even more.
Shouldn’t we first deal with the 90% of child sexual abuse? Perpetrated in the close circle of trust, in the family sphere?
Why do we fool ourselves? Shouldn’t we need to change the culture and praxis? Come together as one voice, holding authorities accountable? And see to existing laws finally being executed?
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
This blog gets the proverbial pants on!
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