another day of deep depression. severe anxiety. death seems like a nice releif... but id make my kids sad. i don't want to die only because my kids would be upset.
i take depression drugs, anxiety drugs. exercise daily, play drums for my own fun time, work on design projects, eat healthy, sleep well, work hard, have friends, take therapy 4 times a week.
once with my main therapist, then a group on anxiety and uncertainty, then a marriage therapist with my wife, then a religious trauma support group.
what else should you do to not feel depressed?
write more maybe? i use to journal a lot. that helps. i need to write more maybe 'capture thoughts' challenge and change them.
i have been doing CBT exercises for over a decade and i still feel terrible.
im running our of options.
we have to leave our office that my wife sold. i worked for many years to set it up for our business.
now we are moving into a piece of shit that isn't set up for our current business, and definitely not set up for any sort of growth. i hope it all falls through. i hope everything just stops i cant handle life
i am only okay when im with my kids.
ive felt every emotion except 'fine'
not sure where to go from here.