Diotima After Dark

I have been back writing a little, so to celebrate… here’s a new Questions No One Asked. I’m calling it NSFW but it’s probably mostly fine. Nothing explicit, just a few mentions of oversexed tieflings, weird preferences, and some super awful puns.

You have been warned.

#writing #nsfw #questionsnooneasked #ama

So, what’s your ideal partner?
Vul.

I walked into that. Fine, what general traits do you look for in a partner?

I’m a bi, demi, sapio non-human introvert with trust issues. I mean, that like… gives you some ideas I hope? But if you’re confused… I like men and women, I need emotional connections, I connect best to smart people, I’m not human, I’m not super social, and I have issues trusting people.

And tbh I’m a snarky, salty bitch and apparently intimidating according to like, too many people. And I honestly can’t much be bothered most of the time so my default is undersexed and overhorny.

So let’s try this. What kind of boys do you like?

Oh. uh right. So the thing is, I’m like… new to liking boys? Well, I used to kind of like them but then I went on a low frat diet. You know, like, a vagitarian. I’ve not really been a fan of the bro-ffett. I-

OMG Dio, stop...

Ha ha ha fine. Okay like, all seriousness? I’m still experimenting and learning but like… mostly I’ve noticed boys that aren’t human. Like okay, you know Invincible? I think Allen is kind of hot, not gonna lie. It’s not just his look tho, I like his attitude and stuff. And obviously if you read my stuff, you know Runar is a vibe. So… right now, that means hench non-human boys, I guess?

So you’re into girls. What kind of girls?

I mean, lots of girls. So like… you might have noticed but I’m a little weird, so I like weird and edgy girls. Goth girls can be a vibe, but like… more scene and gamer and less existential crisis sorts. Smart, please always smart (I’ve dated not smart, I couldn’t stand it) and adventurers are totally necessary because seriously, adventurers dating non-adventurers doesn’t work well (again, tried it.) Looks I mean, I don’t know? As long as everything like, works well as whole person I am happy.

Anything weird?

What? What’s weird? Like tentacle girls or whatever? I mean, I dunno, I kind of have a thing for monster girls? Not like creepypasta weird stuff but… you know, cute ones? Like okay, you know Cherri Bomb from Hazbin? I like the look, she’s kind of cute. Yeah I know, I know, I’m going to end up ate by a stupid eldritch horror and not in a good way. Hey, whatever, I can’t help what I like. And TBH it’s not like I see many people like me outside of fiction so… what do you want from me?

So you’re not into humans?

I mean humans are fine, but they have this superiority complex that’s a pretty huge turn off. And getting told that I’m ‘cute for a tiefling’ is pretty much a permanent nope from me. But I mean sure, some humans might be appealing? But mostly they find me intimidating or scary, so I don’t bother.

But I’m not like… against them, I just don’t really find they’re into me.

What are your biggest turn-offs?

Bigotry, racism, sexism and all that are the biggest for me. I fucking hate bullies and all the ‘isms are just bullies. There are tons of small things, but those are the biggest.

Biggest turn-ons?

Not answering, figure them out!