Rage Misdirected

I don’t have much to say beyond… I am sorry for all of those who have suffered bc I’m the way I am. I’m trying. I am.

TW: Death, Rage, Suicide

#poetry #writing #trauma

Rarely smiling, trialing surrender in this life of mine

Daring death to find me, getting pissed at every miss

“Why don't you try to open up” because you asshole, I'm not fine

You think you know me, fucker? Tell me:

What truths are hidden behind my eyes?

Did you see the fear I felt as I lay waiting there alone

Hospital sounds in full surround my life's future yet unknown

An unknown illness gripping me, my balance all askew

“Daft girl, it's just anxiety” Motherfucker, I will end you!

Did you feel my heart get torn apart as her life force slowly stilled

My anguished wail, me ripped asunder, my greatest fears fulfilled

“Well perhaps you'll find another” Bitch it took all I could to resist

To leave you with your blood unspilled, I was epochs passed 'just pissed'

Did you ever sense the truth behind “I like the work I do there”

Wonder why it was so easy to laugh at death missed by a few hairs?

Gods alive, I thought you'd know, I half wanted to be ended

Body broken, soul departed, flesh of mine all rended.

Did you not see my disappointment that I was just too hard to kill?

...

No

Because

I never

Told you.

…Oh.