(Un)worthy
Not worthy, I think
The books on my shelf unopened
Wondering at the pretension
That I could do anything but fail
This, despite objective truths
Never satisfied, this
Discordance between the actual
And the self I believe to be true
Me, my harshest critic
Avoiding my own gaze in the mirror
Ashamed, though
I can never articulate why
“You are good enough” you say
Loved ones, friends, tell me
Sincere, but
Whispers in my head seeding doubt
But
This is where it stops, this
Hatred of self, this
Unkindness, these
Standards I set so I will fail
I clawed my way out of poverty, I
Showed them how it could be done, I
Dismissed those who doubted
And I did what they said I could not
I am an improbable anomaly
Making my own rules and
Winning at a game
That was supposed to ensure I failed
It is time I act like it.