dsuurlant

I founded a DEI team for our company. About a year and a half ago, I felt so proud of this accomplishment — after campaigning for it and working together with my dev team lead, and making a case to the whole management team, we were approved for starting a DEI team with its own budget. I thought this was a great step for a relatively small company — a way to make diversity, equity & inclusion a part of our DNA, a part of our ‘normal’ rather than an afterthought. It would allow us to tackle diversity from the get-go, making sure that our employee demographics would match up with our worldwide clients and ambition. Diverse companies boost employee happiness, cooperation, and overall profitability. The statistics are pretty clear on that. Or, they were.

But in recent months, I became aware that ‘DEI’ is used as a slur in conservative circles, something to fear and hate, going the same route of appropriating progressive language to corrupt it into a symbol to bash and mock, like ‘woke’. Tale as old as time, but accelerated by social media. For a certain chunk of the population, DEI is now synonymous with something bad. And now a report has come out that ties DEI with negative outcomes for company culture, too.

I made a DEI team… but was it a mistake? Can I hold on to this accomplishment, or should I change course?

The Code of Conduct

Several years before, when I first was hired, I worked together with one of the founders to set up a Code of Conduct. With that document I wanted to formalize anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policies, particularly in support of LGBTQ+ and disabled folks, which are often passed over in CoCs. I was especially proud of being able to include invisible disabilities, which I hoped would go some ways to making our company more inclusive to people like me, actually.

At that time, I wasn’t ‘out’ about being autistic or epileptic, or having a history of mental health issues; because I’d already experienced being discriminated because of it in previous jobs. Every time my past employers had said “you can be yourself”, and I proceeded to do that, the next thing to happen was “your contract isn’t being renewed, because we don’t think you’re a culture fit”. Shocker.

Thankfully my current employer reacted mostly positively when I was finally open about being neurodivergent; the response was more like “why didn’t you tell us, we could have helped!” and not “suddenly we think you’re a bad fit, bye”.

As our company and our ambitions for it grew, I naturally started thinking about the Code of Conduct and how it was only a first step. A document like that is only as effective as its usage; you can’t just write a CoC, put it online, point to it and go “see? we have one!” Your actions need to match your words. You gotta walk the walk, and all that.

We did some preliminary research; did people even know what the Code of Conduct was and where to find it? Was it included in on-boarding new employees? Was it something that was on people’s minds after?

That, and I was aware we were now hiring people more frequently. This would be the point in time to seriously think about diversity and inclusivity, and take action. I have also in the past seen a company’s culture flip upside-down as more progressive employees left, new frat-boy types joined, and before I knew it I was in an office full of racist and sexist “jokes” again. Company culture isn’t something that just kind of happens. It’s something that you set up, invest in, nurture, guard. Like a garden.

The DEI proposal

When I first started hearing the term Diversity, Equity & Inclusion, it was at tech conferences. Several leading companies in the PHP development & hosting space, such as Platform.sh, showed their commitment to making their culture as diverse and inclusive as possible. To me it was a breath of fresh air. “Finally, there’s a serious effort to create space for people like me,” I thought. After years and years of having to put up with bullshit, smiling through gritted teeth, and being told to be myself only to be penalized for it, finally there was some movement in the right direction.

I think most monocultural companies don’t realize just how much and how many potential employees they’re alienating with their lack of effort in diversity and inclusion. They complain how hard it is to find good devs whilst simultaneously throwing out a dozen red flags to potential applicants. And then their employees with marginalized identities they may not be immediately aware of burn out very fast when faced with a fresh bundle of bigotry every day.

I didn’t want our company to become that. My DEI initiative wasn’t because things were bad and I wanted to improve them; it was because things were good and I wanted them to be better or at the very least, not get any worse. Knowing that, I also knew it might be a tough sell to management: to invest in prevention rather than treatment.

So I did the research, made a convincing case with the help of our dev lead, and convinced management. Proudly, I presented our team at our next company-wide event. We scheduled meetings, action points, did a baseline survey according to the Gartner Inclusion Index, and advised management to invest in a workshop or training to increase awareness of implicit bias.

The pushback

A few months ago I signaled the first negative use of DEI. Which was quite late, but I don’t watch YouTubers or listen to podcasts from people whose entire business model is built around the dehumanization and oppression of people like me and the people I love. Ironically this was in the comments (of course) of a videogame trailer: “DEI is DIE”. “DEI is DOA. Wallets closed.”

Imagine if you’ve worked hard on a thing, and you’re proud of it, and you know that it’s very meaningful to you and yours; and then a bunch of bullies show up and stomp on it. And then they are somehow applauded for it. Their words and actions gain traction, spreading out like an oil spill, accelerated by the worldwide political climate. And before you know it, you start reading news like Walmart rolling back its DEI efforts.

And now what?

There is a lot more I could say about this, but it will make this blog post too long, and significantly raise my blood pressure, if I’m being honest.

I’ll say this much: we should never give in to bullies. We should never be tolerant of intolerance. In a world where fear and hate are rising, we have to support each other even more fiercely than ever. We have to choose love, and hope, and continue to stand up for what is right.

So no, I don’t think creating the DEI team was a mistake. In fact, I think it’s more relevant than ever, more needed than ever. Along with the Code of Conduct, it acts not only as a guide but as a filter. If a prospective employee recoils at the mention of DEI, they are likely not the kind of person we want to work with. And if instead they applaud the existence of DEI initiatives, like I did — then they may be exactly the kind of person we want to hire.

Is my accomplishment tarnished by the negativity surrounding DEI these days? Yes. But it also makes it all the more meaningful. I will continue to campaign for the importance of diversity and inclusivity, now more than ever. And thankfully, I feel supported and strengthened by my team and my peers in the PHP community; my experience with the latter group has been overwhelmingly positive, and I know that there are many people who have my back. Because I have theirs.

(A screenshot from the 2013 movie Pacific Rim, with a line of people with different heights and body sizes holding hands as they stand together facing a sea of ships burning, skies brown with smoke)

The world is becoming a scary place, and it may become a tougher fight to keep the things in it that are good. And so we shouldn’t give them up easily. I hope there will still be plenty of companies, including my own, who see the value in that.