A Maze of Love
Co-star told me yesterday that I'm “in a maze of love right now.”
It seemed kind of fitting to my actual situation as I was feeling love for everyone. But it kept me thinking: a maze sounds kind of dangerous. I could seriously get lost in there and possibly starve to death and never see any human soul again.
So even if I feel super good inside this maze right now, I should better know how to navigate it and how to get out of it again if I ever want to.
I think the danger of it is that a certain type of love can easily transmute into hate. I just experienced this with my car. Coming from a standpoint of love I wanted to change the motor oil and the oil filter.
But after seeing that the oil filter is mounted between the motor, front subframe, gearbox and exhaust and that you can basically only reach it with a long arm from the bottom and it's virtually impossible to unscrew it, a feeling of frustration flooded me, and it came with a certain humorous yet serious type of hate: whoever designed this should be castrated. Whoever tightened this oil filter this much deserves to get colon cancer. And by the way, I also hate all of France and I think starting two wars against them in the last century was the right thing to do.
So what is this maze? And what even is love?
You said it's the force that brings us together. Wikipedia says it's an emotional state. Well, Wikipedia says it's more complicated than that.
I think the complication starts with the multiplicity of our experiences. We do not only have one body, but we actually have three. Our gross body, but also a subtle body (that we experience in our dreams) and a causal body (that we experience in deep sleep).
We not only have a mind, we also have a soul. We are not one self, but we experience a multitude of drives.
Love itself can be divided into different kinds. The ancient Greek differentiated between Agape, Eros and Storge, among others.
I always thought that a balance of all of these would be most favourable.
There is also a triangular theory of love in which love is made up of the components of intimacy, passion and commitment, and then these components, in different combinations, make up new, different forms of love.
The one that combines all components is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship which people strive towards.
I strongly feel the same, although I relate with many people in the form of Companionate love, which “is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment.”
Let's take a look at how Buddhism sees love:
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish. Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment. Adveṣa and mettā are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.
What about Hinduism?
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (Kama) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. [...]
In the condition of separation, there is an acute yearning for being with the beloved and in the condition of union, there is supreme happiness and nectarean. Gaudiya Vaishnavas consider that Krishna-prema (Love for Godhead) is not fire but that it still burns away one's material desires. They consider that Kṛṣṇa-prema is not a weapon, but it still pierces the heart. It is not water, but it washes away everything—one's pride, religious rules, and one's shyness. Krishna-prema is considered to make one drown in the ocean of transcendental ecstasy and pleasure.