Resistance
Looking back at the past few months and reflecting on what it was that facilitated the diverse and intense experiences I had, I see one central theme:
Resistance
Had I not been able to repeatedly recognize and overcome my inner resistance, I wouldn't even know that I missed these experiences, I wouldn't even be the same person who is sitting here and writing this today.
This resistance manifested against many things, but most frequently as holding on to something.
A negative emotion, a certain situation, a certain thought pattern, story, interpretation, judgement or just a certain mental state while a negative emotion was urging me to be heard and pressing outwards.
In the end, in most of these situations I decided to let go and let it flow. It was worth it, because even when it hurt, it transformed me.