Self-Deception
It is so damn easy to fool yourself. And just knowing that is not enough.
In the past two weeks it was so easy for my mind to find excuses for why it is stressed and freaking out. There was always something that it was lacking.
Lacking space, lacking time, lacking quietness.
But now that it has all of that, it still searches for excuses. For example that it is more important to write down its thoughts.
Most importantly, I realize that the thing that I wanted to do all the time and that I was stressed about – work – is something I actually have a very high internal resistance against.
And the very thing that I thought was in the way – my family – is something I deeply miss now that they are gone.
And all it takes to get into work again after a long break is to just get going at it. It's difficult at first, but once things become clear again, it's kind of running on its own.