some of my thoughts and notes

Want

I feel like I learn more and more what I want. It's a gradual process, but each experience adds a bit of knowledge.

I want to continue learning and experiencing life. I want to love and learn how to love better.

Living in a partnership seems like a brilliant way to accomplish this.

It opens the possibility of experiences that are only possible for two people who know each other well, including learning to love really well and to see whether the love one is giving is good in the long run.

I knew this before we met, but somehow I hadn't ever ended up in a partnership that I wanted to stay in.

What's different with you?

The starting point may have been that you were in some ways clearly superior to me. You have decided to take full responsibility for your own life and you understand life in a very sensible way.

This may have made me really curious but also relaxed around you. There was no part of you that I wanted to get around, there was no game that I felt I needed or wanted or even could play with you other than that of honest, open and direct communication.

At times, the love you gave me felt like that of a rock between the forest and the sea: cold, wet, uninvolved, but also solid, grounded, consistent, and unconditional.

I want to give you the same: love that's not attached to any conditions, to you being a specific version of yourself, or to certain emotions or developments.

I want you to always feel free.

And I want to build a home with you. Both inside and outside, individually and collectively.

And while India might not be the place to build an outside home I think it's a great place to strengthen the inside home.