Ember's Writing

I am so grateful to Shantigarbha Warren and Barry Jones for being the conduit.

I hope that what I write is a gift to you.

In the Role Play Club(RPC), Shantigarbha’s idea of ‘omnipartiality’ was shared. My first impression of the idea is that it supports when a situation wants you to take sides; one can confirm to self and other that one is seeking to hold omnipartiality – a perspective where all needs matter.

I was so grateful. I didn’t want to be at role-play club today, but it’s always fun. It is the kind of fun when you first start NVC, you know, where you learn that by going, you will usually end up in a wonderful state by the end or at least feel much better. So, knowing this, I took a break from my MSc.

I have been trying to complete my MSc for longer than I would like. Many things have contributed to it taking longer than I would like. Overall, it seems to be a battle with my demons, a long-standing trauma since I gave up my degree 30 years ago and chose to run away to sea as an environmental activist. Over the last few months, I have found myself showing up with less grace than I would like because someone in my peer group has done things that I fundamentally hate. It has impacted my work and my strategy to heal experiences that I now describe as sexually abusive in my childhood. Of course, I am not going to like what they have done. It relates to systemic issues; of course, I am going to find myself on the other side of the fence. And it relates to my experiences as a trans woman; of course, I am going to find it easy to name their behaviour as transphobic.

So it was against that backdrop, that milieu of hurt and fear, that the word omnipartial came as we offered feedback about a role play. One of the things that I love about RPC is that we co-create a playful space, and perhaps this had me open, in a receptive state, to receiving Shantigarbha’s gift.

For in that moment, I could suddenly hold an omnipartial perspective about my old friend and peer, someone with whom I have such differences that have contributed a great deal of pain and about whom I have been so ungraceful. What gifts!

And this is my gift to you, my humble gratitude and learning, at this solstice time. A time when I look back, be present and look forward, like the generations before me, and offer hope and goodwill to all.

With love, and more and more grace,

ember.