she double clicked the spotify icon and smiled at me. it was a strange kind of night, where the silence didnt feel all that lonely and the darkness didnt feel all that depressing. in fact, it was a peaceful kind of quiet, the kind of tranquillity that one experiences when you are finally back in your own room after a long business trip abroad.

“this is one of my favourites.” she scrolled through her many playlists, all named after her past loves. cat names, dog names, boys and girls. i recognised them all. after all, we made most of these playlists together. she settled on one that merely said My Playlist #57 and double clicked on a song.

as her stereo speakers hummed out the first notes of her breakup song, she closed her eyes and fidgeted with her bracelet. our bracelet. her body moved along to the slight notes that seemed to hang in the midnight air, suspended.

what am i to you? she opened her eyes and stared into mine. the voice wasnt hers, but it was almost as if she had asked it.

tell me darling true, “music is amazing isnt it?” she smiled. “this particular song reminds me of new york.” bathed in the warm glow of her lamplight, her softly shaded face wore a look of tired sadness. “and of him.” a look i hadnt seen in a long time.

her lips moved along to the song. her tears came unexpectedly, and yet i sat there beside her, unable to move a muscle.

“why am i so unlucky with love?” she murmured. another breakup. this one came unexpectedly, when it was supposedly going so well too. i held her hand, as we both stared off wistfully into the night. she clutched it tighter, wordlessly thanking me for being here for her. just like this, since forever and always.

it was our usual saturday night. the usual place, the usual time. the only difference was the music.

except that it wasnt.

the last few notes of the song lingered. i sat there, wishing so badly that she wasnt singing the words, but asking me that question instead.