Are you hosting house guests for vacations or holidays? When I host house guests they're family or friends I care deeply about. We already enjoy a connection and familiarity with each other, and we look forward to re-connecting during their visit.

Of course I provide basics for my guests: a soft flat surface to sleep on and access to a bathroom and shower. Loving hospitality goes further, calling on me to think about what my guest’s experience in what is now my shared living space will be. What can I do beyond the basics to make the visit comfortable and relaxed for my guests and myself and my household? How can I show my care for them in my hospitality as a host?

Loving hospitality will look different based on how close or relaxed my relationship with my guests is or on what’s in my means to provide. It can also depend on whether my guests are here for activities we’re going to do together, or whether I’m hosting their stay while they do other activities.

I don’t want to turn my home into an AirBnB or VRBO when members of my close circle come to visit. I *do* want us all to enjoy our time together without worry or unnecessary friction.

Here are some ideas.

Tips

Removable Labels

I’m putting this first because so much of loving hospitality — and being a considerate guest — relies on knowing where to find things and what may be used or not used. Temporary labels on cabinets, drawers, light switches, etc. will help guests know how things work and where to find things. They’ll be more comfortable. So will I, knowing I’ve helped direct guests’ attention to what they need (and away from things I’d rather they not use).

Dark Towels

My white, brightly colored , or devorative towels make the guest bath look pretty and inviting. Guests, though, are sometimes nervous about using the “good” towels. When I set out dark blue, brown, or black towels my guests won’t have to tell me or apologize if personal stains such as hair color, shaving nicks, or other stain-causing circumstances ruined the “good” towels. I don’t have to be concerned about laundering the bath linens. And my guests don’t have to worry that the used towels give away personal details they’d rather keep private.

Bathrobe

My guests might need to use a shared bathroom, or one I’ve set aside for their use but it’s not en suite. Before the shower there might be nowhere to keep my fresh clothes dry to put on after a shower. After a shower the room is steamy and one’s body is wet. That makes it hard to dress in the bathroom. Providing an inexpensive, lightweight robe protects your guests privacy and spares everyone possible moments of embarassment as they return to a different room to dress.

Bath/Shower Tote

Consider providing a dorm-style bath tote or basket. Some people travel with a toiletry bag or dopp kit while others don’t. Either way giving guests an easy way to carry things back and forth to the bathroom helps them and also keeps the bathroom clear for other people who might be sharing the space.

Toilet and Facial Tissue

I make sure both are available in the bathroom, and I add facial tissue to the guest bedroom. It’s also important for guests to know where to find more of each. If there’s not room for a toilet tissue rack that makes the extra rolls visible, a small card on the vanity or mirror, or a removable label on the drawer or cabinet door, can let guests know where to find them. This way no one finds themselves using the bathroom and discovering they need more tissue. Beyond that, I protect my guests’ modesty by not forcing them to reveal their bathroom habits by asking for fresh tissue in the moment. And I’m sure that I have enough stock on hand before guests arrive!

Lamps and outlets

If possible, provide a lamp that can be operated from a switch near the door and a bedside lamp. Ensure the bulbs throw enough light so guests can not only move safely but can see everything clearly in the depths of a suitcase or duffel’s black interior. Keep access to at least one wall outlet clear, or add an extension cord to make outlets visible and bring them within reach.

Surfaces

Nearly everyone has a device that needs to be handy and off the floor. Guests might also have hair tools, brushes, makeup, skincare or toiletries, or reading materials. If there’s room, clear a tabletop or dresser space so guests can keep these daily-use items convenient.

Pillows, Linens, Ceiling Fans

Everyone’s idea of comfort is different and can change during the night. Some people need various pillow arrangements to keep their back or joints healthy. If I can, I provide an extra pillow or two and an extra light blanket. With the addition of a tabletop fan or ceiling fan I’ve helped my guests sleep comfortably whether their preference is warmer or cooler than my own.

Loving Hospitality: Tour and Orientation

“Tour and Orientatoin” sounds formal, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a way to share information and set expectations so that everyone enjoys their time together. I don’t want my guests to have to ask for everything, to feel as though they *can’t* ask, or to wonder anxiously what they may or may not do to be considerate guests. And I want members of my household to enjoy respect for their habits and living spaces.

Frist, show your guests where they can put their things and where they can freshen up. Once everyone is refreshed and hugs exchanged, open with “Let me show you around” to give guests a brief tour. Here are some things to let them know. Adjust accordingly depending on how “smart” your home and devices are!

All these topics don’t have to be covered all at once. Go over some right away, some at the first mealtime, some when evening comes and lights have to be turned on, and some when I or my guests are about to retire for the night.

1. What spaces are “theirs” during their stay, which are shared spaces they can use freely, and which are private spaces that are off limits. (For example, “My room is over there. Knock if you need something during the night” can subtly indicate the room is off-limits and not to be entered without permission or invitation.)

2. What the household’s usual habits are, such as if anyone is typically up early or late. Also let guests know when it’s too early to rummage about the kitchen making coffee. Guests will know what different “house sounds” mean and will also be confident they’re not disturbing anyone unintentionally.

3. Is there an alarm system? How can my guests leave or enter safely? For example, one of my guests goes out for an early morning walk. What do they need to know to do that if the rest of the household isn’t up and about yet?

4. When meals are usually taken, which meals people take together, and for which meals the guests should plan to forage for themselves. Guests should know whether to purchase their own food to bring in, get meals delivered, or go out, and what the general expectation is about what the hosts and guests will do together vs separately.

5. Where to find glasses, dishes, and flatware. Removable labels on the cabinets and drawers that contain items they can use prevent hunting and door noise. (Pro tip: put small labels on the front of shelves when a cabinet holds a mix of items ok to use and items not to use.)

6. What should guests do with used dishes and utensils? Should they put them in the sink, on the counter, or directly in the dishwasher?

7. Which foods they can use freely, whether in cabinets, pantry, or fridge. Point out a separate beverage refrigerator, if there is one. I might put some snacks out on a counter for guests. Keep coffee and/or tea supplies visible and ensure guests know how to use the coffemaker.

8. Where the main light switches are and where they can find electrical outlets if they need them. (Removable labels on the most-used switches can help.)

9. is it ok for them to use a TV or sound system? If so, where are the controls or remotes? Will they have to log in with their own service accounts?

10. Can they use my WiFi? If so, how can they access it?

11. How do the shower controls work? Believe it or not, some are not easy to figure out! Demonstrate the kitchen faucets, too, if they have any special features like touch control.

That’s it! Enjoy each other and your time together!

• Loving hospitality lets my guests experience my care for them.
• Loving hospitality expresses thoughtful attentiveness to my guests and my household’s comfort.
• Loving hospitality calls on me to make my love and care tangible.
• Loving hospitality broadens my concept of what true comfort is beyond just a place to sleep — expanded to include privacy, modesty, and avoiding embarrassment or anxiety.
• Loving hospitality includes respecting the needs of household members even as I look after my guests’ comfort.

What do you do to express loving hospitality?