For those who mistake tripping for ascension.

14 Lessons from RSVP Flake Rates

Modern RSVP etiquette is a masterclass in ambiguity: a game of social dodgeball where the bravest among us are those who admit, out loud, that ‘maybe’ is simply a euphemism for ‘no, but with plausible deniability.

  1. The “Yes” RSVP is humanity’s most beautiful lie — a polite fantasy we maintain to avoid admitting we’re all just waiting for a better offer.

  2. Couples are quantum particles. They exist in a superposition of “definitely coming” and “definitely not coming” until observed at the exact moment of your event.

  3. People who respond “Maybe” are actually saying “No, but I want you to think I’m the kind of person who would say yes.”

Click here to see the other eleven lessons. I saved the best ones for last!