(Sorry about the typos)
Dammit I had my post written and didn’t have an account yet. It’s published and floating out there someplace on Write.as :(
I had a good layout of my situation and I lost it. If anyone ever finds it, will you let me know?
I can’t believe I’m actually writing this. This is what’s happening in my life right now.
I wake up everyday hoping I’m just paranoid, but with the hair test results confirming my worst fears,
I have to accept this happening and now I’m still kind of in shock.
Sometimes I am unable to be around her and pretend everything is fine, I have cried once.
And then something else happens, or she insists on me drinking/ eating something, and I get sick.
I have been to the ER twice in the past month for cardiac/ neuro emergency episodes.
It took me SO MANY months to catch on. She’s been doing this since the spring, heavily since this past July.
God she’s good, Clinically insane- I’m sure about that. The psychopathy is just sick.
Sick and twisted.
It’s funny, that’s what she calls me and tells me “I’m delusional and she’s going to call the hospital and put a 5150 hold” on me.
She doesn’t know I got a hair test done. Unfortunately, not all metals were tested, but what I got back is still pretty devastating.
The way she has been smiling at me is just despicable, knowing what I know now.
Her smile is different.
Pushy. Malicious. Ominous.
Like my Uncle’s.
God, the similarities between the mannerisms I’m going to share are just uncanny. They have the same crazy look in their eyes, I’d call it an evil anticipation.
Now that we are getting an inheritance check, my situation is even more dangerous.
She is in contact with the executor (of course it’s my UNCLE) of the estate and I’m not. That may be a problem.
A couple weeks ago, she told me I wouldn’t be here for my birthday in early December.
Last Thursday she told me, “you might get sad and kill yourself.”
I said “why would I do that?”
She said, “I don’t know, because you’re sick?”
So for the record, I have survived six and half years of HELL, I’m going to see this through to the end.
If I were going to end it, I would’ve done it when I thought the pain was going to kill me.
I’m NOT SUICIDAL!!!!!
If I die in the next few weeks, it’s because I was murdered.
I’m more determined than ever to stay alive and get the fuck out of here with these funds I desperately need.
I’ve been feeling those pains again signaling Complete spinal and bone destruction.
My spine was already fragile because of a previous attempted murder plot on my life.
I was poisoned with radioactive materials in 2018 and my life has been thoroughly destroyed since then.
Everyday is a conscious choice to stay alive. I could have easily ended it.
But I don’t because I want to see them be arrested for murder.
The “them” now includes my twin sister, who I have resided wih since I escaped my Uncles, barely alive.
I am just devastated.
There’s no time To stay devastated if I’m going to stay alive.
Gotta find that inner strength baby.
I watched a WW documentary about the beaches of Normandy, almost 10,000 men killed there.
Imagine the fucking fear of watching your brothers get killed right in front of you, knowing you’re probably next?
You’re marching to your own death.
The probability was low you were going to survive. Goddamn——- but you did it anyways.
Thank you Veterans.
Or the ancestors who braved months on a ship at sea to come find the possibilities of a new life.
For some of our brethren, they didn’t have the right to make their own choices. Their lives were never to be their own. The strength, willpower, and courage to live such a life demands respect and honor. I will honor those who came before me by not being afraid, even though being this honest is what has caused my death.
I will gladly be murdered if these truths make their way to the world.
The trials and suffering of humanity is the one thing we all have in common. We will all suffer in this life, in one way or another. If you’re suffering today, I’m sorry. My heart is with you.
And we will all be scared, fearful of the next steps we know we must take in order to save ourselves, the risks we must take.
That’s where I am. I’m scared shitless honestly. Facing these fears is something I never thought I’d have to do in such close proximity to the murderers.
And that’s why I’m supposed to do this.
I mean write this all down for you.
At this point, I’m writing wildly and posting things written in the last couple months, when my life blew up.
Like a bubble popping, I had no clue what was to befall me.
Once again, I was tricked.
Tricked by the promise of a loving familial relationship, the one that’s supposed to be an unbreakable bond of support, care, and friendship.
I’m not very technologically advanced.
It’s very hard for me to keep up.
I have very limited brain power.
And then it gets to a certain point and I can’t understand anymore that day.
Wow, that sounds crazy to write.
So yes, I’m definitely disabled, in every way.
This is really bad guys.
Even with me taking activated charcoal, and I might try to start a course of oral EDTA or I might confide in my new physician tomorrow, I’m not sure yet.
Even with hair test results, I have found there are still skeptics, which is insane to me.
If you examine my body, it bears the long term effects of excessive radiation, the genetic mutations that have caused my life ending illnesses. Yes, plural.
I’m on many medications and oxygen. A quick move out of here is going to be hard for me to accomplish alone. Not to mention the physical burden of having to sort, pack and carry my belongings to the car my sister is going to try and prevent me from taking.
We own it together. She primary borrower and pays the car insurance. I’m co borrower but I pay the car payment.
She is going to make this as hard for me as possible. But I know she can’t afford to keep it. She will want to prevent my comfort in any way possible.
Without a vehicle, it’s going to be highly complicated for me to evacuate the premises.
She probably will not let me back onto the property.
I’m thinking I will have to have a police escort to do this.
Oh God, help me!
This is going to be increasingly ugly.
So first, I have FTD, that’s a very important part of this story.
Suddenly this year, August, I really started going downhill.
Like I used to remember what I did maybe 2 minutes ago and suddenly i couldn’t anymore.
Or I’d stop using Canva for three days because I was sick and then I couldn’t remember how to use the program and had to learn all over again.
Some of the skills I had didn’t come back.
So that’s the kind of memory disability we are dealing with here, severe, severe.
I have ZERO short term memory.
I literally cannot remember what show I am watching during the commercials.
That specific symptom had gotten better earlier this year but I noticed it had been Happening again, as did other concerning symptoms that had occurred during the months of the initial poisonings at my Uncles house in 2017/ 2018.
Even now after all the detoxification, the damage had already been done, permanently.
My hair test levels are higher than when I was originally tested in October 2019.
And now to find she is the reason for the sudden decline, I’m just infinitely saddened.
I have to write, otherwise I’m unable to remember, even traumatic events that should be stamped onto my consciousness have dissipated.
I can watch the same move every single day and not realize it.
As an experiment, I watched the same repeats of two entire series.
When the TV was on, it was playing the entire series in the correct order.
For 8 months in a row, every single day, I watched nothing except “Murder She Wrote,” and I think I spent a year on “Golden Girls.”
A Single series at a time because I thought watching the same media would help me remember.
New flash: IT DOESNT
And I can’t visualize anything, which is, indeed, a shame because my transcendental meditation game was on point prior to 2018.
I was a fucking master at visualization. Good or bad, memories used to play like a movie screen in front of my eyes. I’d always had that ability. I’d have visions of future events, and the feelings I have today do come true or are usually what is secretly occurring.
At times I’d definitely describe it as a photographic memory, excellent at memorization.
Memory was never a challenge. I was learning two different languages at the same time.
God, I was smart.
I was one out of only 2 people in my AP history class who got a 3 or better on the AP. test.
Everyone was surprised it was me.
And turned around in their chairs.
I shrunk down. I hated attention.
Apparently, I didn’t know people talked about me frequently, but I should have figured that out. I was lost in my own little world, trying to recreate the baby I’d been forced to abort in my sophomore year.
I was such a fucking wreck of a teenager.
My sister was always smarter, popular and everyone’s friend.
She now likes to bring up those years around our adult children to embarrass me.
She’s been doing it for years and I couldn’t figure out why she was doing that.
That same smile.
God, what a sadistic creature she is.
Back to my media intake experiment:
I realized I’m not going to remember. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch, read or write something. I likely will not recall even when given hints or even part of the sentence, it’s just gone.
So now I try to Jam as much intellectual information I can into my head daily.
Things that interest me, bring me joy, research.
I have to figure out what’s killing me.
Right now, just putting this someplace is what I need.
And then when I’m tired, I rest my brain.
I just have to let this out.
And now with this new development I’m scared.
I’m really sick.
I’m desperately afraid to write about this publicly.
But I have to.
I’m too scared to actually write my name.
They have people watching me.
They’ve been attempting surveillance on me for years.
I say attempt because I used to work private security and used to conduct direct surveillance on people in San Diego, so I know a little about the tactics.
They are getting impatient.
And now in my own house, I don’t feel safe.
That’s a terrible fucking feeling.
Welcome to the fucking craziest shit you're ever gonna hear.
Several days a week I still am having terrible realizations as events that happened this near, little thing she’s said have popped into my head.
I’m getting very little done.
I’m stunned, still, even though a hair test has confirmed I’m being poisoned.
This is the second time I’ve been chronically poisoned.
And now they have to be working together
I’m absolutely positive. She couldn’t have known the poisons to use. He must have told her.
You guys 😒😒😒
Like are you fucking kidding me???
My twin sister is finishing what my Aunt and Uncle didn’t, after I barely escaped with my life.
I was so ill. I slept, more like passed out, For weeks and months at a time.
And that was after months of activated charcoal, oral EDTA, Flushing and detoxing. Trying to rid my systems of the absolute barrage of toxins they tried (and nearly succeeded) to murder me with.
I was so fucking sick for the next two years, Incredibly ill.
When I tell you this story, you will understand what a fucking insufferable experience this has been.
((However I have found joy in my animals, my back porch and the dragonflies, butterflies, and the birds who come by with messages from Heaven))
Finding the joy and gratitude in my life, despite this situation, has been made possible. I hold onto the fact that everything that is supposed to happen as is, but I’m not going to roll over and let them get away with it.
I know my sister’s BF is also involved in this. He’s a married nurse who works at the hospital with her. No wonder she doesn’t want to talk about him or reveal any information about him.
They are in this together.
That’s why she denies seeing, texting or even talking to him, even when caught red handed.
I just figured this out, right this second.
Of course, they will be just “acquaintances,” if ever they were questioned by law enforcement.
I gotta find out who this guy is.
I’m still taking activated charcoal.
She just got me on Thursday with Thorium again.
I realized that what I’d seen in our Brita water filter in the fridge.
No wonder the water made me sick.
Fuck.
This is really bad.
If I make another mistake and drink/eat something she has poisoned, I will die.
She is losing her patience.
I’m trying to detox myself.
My hair indicates some of the same poisons from my Uncle’s.
They are higher now than they were in October 2019 when I got my levels tested for the first time with an actual segmented analysis.
I checked the wrong box, Otherwise it would have shown the actual months I’d ingested each toxin.
I wonder if I can still get my report formatted like that, or if they have saved my sample.
Hmm..it’s probably too late now.
But my new test that covered the past two months indicated:
My aluminum is 15x a toxic dose
My mercury is 10x a toxic dose
So I may get confused / but I’m doing slightly better, thank God.
I hope you guys can read this. I hope it’s seen by someone out there.
I don’t know when we’re getting the inheritance check but that’s what I’m trying to wait for.
I’ve been so sick these last two months.
Im SO fucking devastated.
For the first time in six years, I missed a payment and my credit score dropped 87 points.
I told my sister “I’m so fucking devastated,” with a tear rolling down my cheek.
(She was driving and I saw her smile when I said that sentence. A little smile when she said the words, “I bet. I would be too!”)
My debit card was stolen right before Halloween (and I called the bank about my car payment and they said I had till the 15th) and I JUST got my money back from the bank earlier this past week.
Up until this past week, I was hundreds negative in my bank account thanks to the thieves.
Could someone tell me how to dispute them reporting me to the bureau?
I have worked way too fucking hard for six years sacrificing physically and mentally to make all my payments on time.
So do you think I can could dispute them reporting me?
So :
debit card stolen + being poisoned to death by my psycho twin sister / =
Good 👍 excuse???!
Do you think that’ll fly ????
She said “Psycho” was her favorite Hitchcock movie. I actually recorded us for hours that night, last Thursday 11/16/24, as we were arguing!
I was in excruciating pain after she fed me takeout pizza. It had black flakes all over it and she was being really weird about me eating it.
I tried to pick off the flakes but I think it was Thorium.
You guys if I don’t fucking laugh I will lose it and my ability to maintain my cool and wait for this money.
Well, I believe that’s enough info for the first.
Nice to meet you.
I’m very vulnerable because I have FTD (dementia )
I’ve already forgotten what I said. But every fucking word is the truth.
I see and speak truth:
My brain doesn’t have the ability to lie.
I’m pretty fucking special.
I didn’t know people don’t like the truth.
My sister is one of those: scarily (like my uncle) she’s also a sadist.
She is enjoying watching me suffer in tremendously excruciating pain and agony every day.
I cry if I smash a bug.
Like what the fuck????
Who the fuck is this person I’m living with????
Talk about light and dark.
Angel vs Devil
BAD and GOOD.
The palm of my hand is really bruised right now and she’s trying to tell me I fell. I don’t think I did.
I would remember or another part of me would hurt, I suppose because as my sister said I “its really really hard to bruise the palm of your hand. You must have fallen really hard to cause a bruise like that.”
God, this is really a waking nightmare.
I’m trying to get out of here alive***
(((((hopefully physically better than this/ I feel like she’s gonna do a huge dose of something bc shes tired of waiting and we have been fighting frequently……
Microscopically each day I’m regaining a teeny tiny bit more strength.
I just can’t stop taking my activated charcoal.
Today I did a SHIPT order for an hour and half and then came home. I’m now laying in bed.
But even that is good for today I think. I’m pretty sure it was thorium I ate last Thursday.
I gotta get the fuck outta here physically able and alive——
***and with my inheritance check.
I deserve to start a new life away from the person hurting me.
I have been through so much physically and mentally since this horrible experience started in 2017.
Even though I’m scared, my mental health is about as solid as it can be. I’m dedicated to publishing my writing, and eventually this entire story will be published.
This is a long intro.
That’s everything,
Except yesterday my sister told me a story (she’s a nurse ) about a man “bleeding all over, gushing, blood everywhere. Everywhere clothes, floor, walls”
And her expression was flat.
It felt threatening.
The vacant stare from someone who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
There was something imminent to me about that. She was telling me what is going to happen.
I do believe she’s planning on someone attacking me, if I don’t die soon. I know that’s why she’s been asking about my door being open or closed for the last month.
I get feelings, instincts, and emotions from the words and manner in which someone speaks to me.
If I can see your face that’s even better because I practice the study of micro-expressions and am able to “read between the lines,” as they say.
My sister is a pathological liar and it’s been interesting to see the progression since she became aware I was suspicious.
I have recently started locking my door. And she keeps asking me why I’m doing that?
On Saturday (11/16/24) she said, “why are you doing that? Did something happen to cause you to want to…” she trailed off.
I said, “No, since niece is out of the house and may come home, I leave a door unlocked. So I need to shut my door. Plus it keeps the cat out and the dog in.”
And that’s what I need to sleep.
The lock is for Myself.
She said something really interesting things about my
Door lately. She hasn’t cared in six fucking years that it’s hot in here/ boiling during the spring and summer.
Now suddenly when we are cooling down she cares if I keep my door open?
Very, very suspicious questions she’s asking and I’ll write another post tonight. She’s about to get up for work and I pack her lunch that she doesn’t eat because she’s anorexic.
Mostly it’s bulimia with laxitives. Which destroys the body, and of course, I knew what she was doing.
I’m not fucking stupid and she’s been doing this since she was in high school.
My family used to talk about it.
I had absolutely no idea and she never provided details about her methods, nor has ever received treatment for her condition.
She never tells the truth.
She is absolutely a pathological liar.
I would estimate she weighs about 85 lbs. I weigh 100 lbs and I look big standing next to her.
Your body is a beautiful temple and think of the food and drink as the dirt and water for your garden. Mulch it, weed it, and love the growth you see. Nuture those beautiful tiny seeds and watch them become a gorgeous, strongly rooted flower that sways with the winds of life.
She “binges” with me, which is just eating a normal fast food meal, which we rarely do.
Our go-to would be a #1 on the Cantina Taco Bell menu with a large drink.
Then my sister spends the next 4 days “sick” using laxatives and purging her system/ unable to eat because she’s having diarrhea, which she causes herself.
See the problem?
It’s terrible to see this shit in person.
But apparently I “care too much.”
That’s one of the reasons she’s seething with me and has been since our fight on October 9th because I said it’s going to kill her if she doesn’t get some help.
And I quote, “this bulimia laxative shit you’re doing is gonna kill you if you don’t get some help.”
I couldn’t help myself, it just came out.
And I actually did care about her health. This wasn’t a jab or mean comment. It was a frustrated attempt to speak the truth. I can’t not tell the truth with what’s happening around me.
She doesn’t want anyone to question her, on anything, ever.
She wants to be the one to ask questions and control the strings.
And she does, primarily.
((I weighed 115 lbs at the end of July. The beginning of August is when I start feeling sick, really sick, like in bed with flu symptoms and some others that didn’t make sense to me.))
So yes, my sister is also very sick. And she is also slowly dying, but she’s doing it to herself and certainly not from poisons that destroy the body and mind.
She also has a life she desperately wants to rid me from. She has a boyfriend, an excellent job, a memory, a sex life, freedom, money and most importantly,
THE ABILITY TO LEARN:
To be exposed to something and remember it, to watch and experience life with a hard drive, to be able to think of information when needed, to add to the growing number of topics you can talk about comfortably in front of someone.
Ha/I literally have no academic knowledge.
It’s hard to be in a world where you can’t remember.
What happened yesterday in our country?
I don’t know.
The ability to learn is the thing that kills me the most. I don’t have the ability to learn and that’s basically why I will never be anything else than this right here.
What I’m doing right now.
I have to write. I can’t be any other way.
But right now, I do have to pack her lunch and act sweet for awhile till she leaves for work.
She knows I know. And that’s what scares me the most.
She told me last Thursday I “make her life hell every single day.”
She finally told the truth.
Thanks for listening. And nice to meet you. 👍👏😀🥹😘
Peace. ✌️ 🩷🥲🙏💔
Marie