Your Reward System
Do you deserve to be rewarded at all?
When we reward ourselves it’s when we feel good about ourselves. It’s when we say, “okay, I need a break here, I’m gonna reward myself for all my hard work”. If you are a workaholic, it’s tough to even make this choice. You feel you must keep going. You must try harder and push yourself more and more. Until you feel satisfied, then you feel like you can treat yo self. 🥳
To answer the question above, the answer is yes, of course, you deserve it—you’re human! If we never rewarded ourselves, life would be an endless grind. There is that need to feel good about our efforts. If we never gifted ourselves, we would probably feel pretty lousy. It’s difficult for those who are very much into productivity. We love the feeling of discipline and having things crossed off our tick list. To a workie-type, crossing things off the tick list *is* the reward! I fall into this category as well—sometimes I’ll even add something to my tick list just to cross it off! 😂 I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m 100% workmodeboy though. Sometimes I can be downright lazy af
How do you choose to reward yourself?
How you choose to reward yourself is important. Do you take a trip? Do you have a Netflix Party? Netlflix and chill? Buy yourself a new-shiny-technology-thing? Pleasure yourself? Spend time in nature? Have a date with a significant other? Or perhaps hang out with family or friends? Watch the big game? New clothes? Playing videogames? Smokin’ dat O.G. Kush? 🌿The list goes on and on…
Depending on your current state of consciousness and perspective, you may attribute a positive (+), negative (–), or neutral (±) feeling with whatever it is. Can you more closely examine the ways in which you reward yourself? Are there ones you can add and feel good about, while others you’d rather remove or replace? There are definitely some rewards that do feel good in the moment, but when thought about more deeply—you may find sadness or emptiness. Choose wisely; choose what feels good to you? If you are second-guessing, then see what you can do to find one that feels good to you.
Speaking of feeling good, the ones I like the most are when they generate a positive feedback loop. This is, in a nutshell, is something that fuels you and is sustainable. The idea of evergreen applies well here. If there is a way you can reward yourself that basically stands the test of time, it’s a win-win situation. Can you see yourself rewarding yourself the same way in 5-10 years from now? Can you keep coming back to it and still feel good about your decision? Now bring it back to the present moment, ask yourself “is this *me*—is this who I wanna be?”
Kidding Yourself
Are you possibly kidding yourself when it comes to rewards and rewarding yourself? If you step outside of your body for a moment and saw how you were rewarding yourself and for what—does it make sense? Are you going too easy? This goes back to if you even deserve to reward yourself? Rewarding yourself is best when earned and you feel good about your accomplishments. But sometimes you do just want to kick your feet up and relax just for the sake of it. There’s nothing wrong with this! That is perfectly fine! You’re human! We all love to binge-watch our favorite shows and enjoy a glass of wine as a nightcap. There are times when we want to work work work. And then there are other periods where we want to take a vacation. It’s good to find the balance here.
The Bad Stuff
There are ways in which we reward ourselves that are really only damaging. How can you be kinder to yourself? The choice is ultimately yours whether you deem something as healthy or un. Something may feel good in the moment, but you feel bad about yourself later. Have you ever felt like that? We all have our vices—whether porn, smoking, white sugar, carbs, chocolate, social media, etc. There are some who even choose to reward themselves with pain.
With the vices, some of it comes down to discipline. Some of it comes down to talking with and listening to your Higher Self. No, not if/when you get high. I’m talking about the version of yourself who is the best possible version. The version is out of beta and knows what is in your best interest. I think it’s okay to be a goody-two-shoes sometimes. You’ll probably feel better doing so.
Be a Sweet and Mushy Pea
Actually...come to think of it, one of the best ways to reward yourself is intangible to a certain extent. This goes back to the positive feedback loop. The positive feedback loop can be external, perhaps when you receive a hug, for example. The positive feedback loop can also be internal. What I mean is that when you do a good deed out of the kindness of your heart, you feel good, right? It’s these moments we can cherish which are so much more rewarding than anything of monetary value. Rewarding yourself naturally is the best approach, I’d say. Artificial things can only do so much and often fill a void. Search inside yourself to see the void from the base level. What’s it really want? What does it want you to do—how does it want you to act like a more conscious being? You don’t have to be perfect—that’s unrealistic and not fun. When you are naturally rewarded, it will only bring a smile to yours and whoever else received the benefits. That’s how to be a sweet and mushy pea.