Choosing between faith and mysticism…
Came across reddit.com/r/holofractal last night.
Essentially, this “holofractographic unified field theory” says that within everything there is everything.
Within every single cell of every single person there is a copy of the whole universe.
And that’s something that I’ve had intimations of before.
It certainly fits in with the idea of eternal recurrence, certain moments being eternal, the now being all that exists…
And also my feeling, during ayahuasca, that if I “looked to any side” at any moment, I would “create” or be sucked into a new reality.
And it also fits in with panpsychism which I also consider to be possibly true: animals do seem to have feelings, loves, fears, hopes, and memories, just like humans – and even plants and mushrooms do very intelligent stuff.
While reading about it I felt curious, a little afraid, yet more than anything quite calm. That was interesting. I usually feel a bit scared, sick, and like my brain is breaking.
I even felt calm as I considered the idea that the “observer”, i.e. the consciousness experiencing life through “me” (my body, my brain, my eyes, my person) – could switch to observing another instance of reality.
In that case, “I” wouldn’t notice at all, recollect at all, nothing. Maybe this has already happened many many times. Maybe it is always happening.
In whatever case, I think this quote is very true:
The schizophrenic drowns in the same waters that the mystic swims in delight.
Only problem? I don’t know if I am the mystic or the schizophrenic.
I certainly have had terrifying psychedelic experiences.
It seems wise to assume I am the schizo… and hold off further trips.
And to add to that…
I came across this thread on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/RenOfMen/status/1592548991736348672
The guy talks about the disadvantages of taking ayahuasca: that it opens up the world of spirit, we aren’t meant for it, the shaman can only protect you to a limited extent.
But I don’t fully agree with that either, as he says people take it in exchange for material success, for sex, for pleasure, to get a moral license to “do what thou wilt.”
I don’t think that was the case with me. I mostly did it for healing – I thought. Or for spiritual insight.
Yet that too could be bad. I like the comparison of “plant medicine” to steroids – it’s an unhealthy, accelerated, fake version of the real thing.
If you instead have faith, and sacrifice your life to Jesus – or be willing to give up everything for him, to live out God’s rules… then maybe you have better results.
I also had a synchronicity moment:
The same tweet author wrote this: https://twitter.com/RenOfMen/status/1592726018401644546
And at the Airbnb I have just moved in to? What is the top book on the table?
Uma realidade aparte – by Carlos Castaneda.
But you know what? Fuck it all. I don’t want to passively experience everything that comes to me. I want to take an active direction in my life.
Choose God, or choose synchronicity and mysticism? I am learning towards the former.