November 2025 Update
God repay the conscience-less engineers
For the pure sweet hearts with which they gamble
Seek not their greed which monetizes fears
And goads minds like picadores goad bulls.
They don't seem to stop and wonder "Should I,"
Unless the "should" could threaten the bottom line,
Until that line becomes their only why
And they call conscience just a Luddite whine.
Oh, how easy, on them, to pin the blame.
For they would not be "they" without users
So vulnerable to weaponized shame
And words from anonymous accusers.
They could not act so low were we not vain,
Don't let them choose what is true, what is sane.
If you follow the blog you might have noticed that I published this sonnet by itself. I think I will do that with other original poetry so that it is not just scattered across these updates. You might see some other sonnets on here.
Writing
Writing is going about as well as it can. I get stuck and push through and get stuck and push through again. I think it is not terrible but I am also not sure if it is great. It is hard to tell in the drafting stage. This one is like stumbling through a jungle for me. But it is fun at times. The hardest thing is staying motivated to do it during my free time between the stresses of life and parenthood.
Music
I have been taking a break from guitar because I want my damn wrist to heal all the way. It has been difficult, because guitar is a creative outlet. I have certainly idolized it recently, but it has been a challenge to reorient myself. I think I will eventually be a better musician for it, and I think it is good to take breaks, since becoming too familiar can sometimes lead you to make ends of your means. But I will be happy when I can play again.
Reading
According to my Bookwyrm (Goodreads but not owned by Amazon), I read The Jungle and Hamlet. You can read my full reviews over there if you like. I will not say much about The Jungle except that it was painful but I am glad I read it. The bleak, relentless forces of greed and ambition that literally grind human beings into sausages in the book were uncomfortably familiar, if less extreme now (but not by a comforting margin). I did not find the solution that Sinclair pushes at the end very convincing, but I do agree that we will always have to fight for fairness and justice. We don't get to choose our political or social moment, but we do get to choose how we respond to it.
Hamlet was Hamlet. If you speak English you owe it to yourself to read it at least once, or go see it, or both. I highly recommend the Folger's Library Editions for the explanatory notes they include:
"Who would fardels* bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action."
*Fardels = burdens
— The “To be or not to be” Soliloquoy
Listening
I did a free month of Qobuz so I could listen to some albums that some friends recommended. I still rip CDs and buy digital files to download, which might seem rather old fashioned, but if owning my own music and not being beholden to a corporation for the art I love is old fashioned then that's fine with me. I completely understand the convenience and freedom that Spotify offers, but I'd rather buy one album I love and fully support an artist than listen to a thousand things and give the songs that really mean something to me less than a cent for my listens. No corporation has any meaningful motivation to serve the well-being of its consumers besides conscience, and conscience has proven to be less effective at scale than the bottom line. And if you limit yourself to buying one album (or renting from the library) per month it pays for itself, though it is less convenient.
Since it is Native American Heritage Month I highly recommend listening to Woman in Color by Raye Zaragosa. It is one of my favorite albums ever, and it is really a healing experience to listen to. She manages to approach the pain of her past and present with honesty and hope, and a little punk energy, and her voice is really very lovely and unique. Highlights for me include “They Say,” “The It Girl,” “Change Your Name,” and “Ghosts of Houston Street.” She also has a Tiny Desk Concert that is great.
Thank you for reading! I greatly regret that I will most likely never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.
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