CTO in a very big e-commerce company.. This is a person I know, making lots of money. But to me, it is interesting how he got where he is. I am not denying there is a lot of working long hours. But he had a very different mindset. He had no problem exaggerating what he previously did or his capabilities.

I think there are many people like this. I was in a car ride with someone – husband of my wife's friend. He said something that I think I will not forget for a long time.. “Once they hire you, they won't let you go. It is only about getting the job itself”. I never saw it like this. I feel a very big responsibility hence if anything I try to lower the expectations as much as I can. I do not want people thinking that I am some sort of a super employee that will get everything done.

Recently I had a 1:1 with my manager. (I hate 1:1s, but that is a different story, today I am keeping it light.) He asked me how things were going. I said “ordinary” – 🥱 – and that is how things were.. He was shocked.. He repeated my answer with big eyes.. He said “ORDINARY?”.. And told me “You have to sell it to me, man.. You have to sell yourself a little bit.” Why, I do not understand. Why am I supposed to sell myself? Is it a part of my job? I am doing the tasks assigned to me to best of my ability, is not that enough? Why are you a manager, if you are not going to monitor my performance in your own terms?

I know this thing is getting too long but I just want to give one more example.. I was around 20 years old – doing my intern. The senior engineer asked me if I knew how to use a particular application. I told him I only did some very basic tutorials in it and do not have much exposure to it and only know the very basics. He told me wrong answer. I was like – what? How is that a wrong answer? He told me I must say, confidently – Yes, I know that application. I asked him what if I get hired, they expect me to do something with it and if I can't? He told me I was supposed to say: “I know it, I am not an expert in it”. Now after 15 years, I understand he actually showed me the reality of the work life. At that time I thought he was just unethical. Seems like my definition of unethical does not match reality in work life.

This whole selling yourself things is a silent killer. It is a part of the competition. I have been tired of the competition long time ago. I wonder how many marketers are in high positions instead of more knowledgable but modest people.. I must clarify this – I am not claiming I am very talented or knowledgable – I suck hard at work, just like I suck at everything else.. Just wondering about others.. Maybe everyone is where they actually are supposed to be – what do I know.

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