I used to play PvP games like S4 League and GunZ a lot before I went to highschool. I became hesitant to play PvP games ever since.
Even when I fail embarrassingly, I still kept on playing those games because I enjoyed them for what they were. I didn't care about what I can gain from playing.
Those games made me feel happy as a little kid, especially at times when I didn't want to go to school or do other boring or stressful things.