Zuihutsu

I feel very out of sync; my mind and body.
I fear many things, including the ones I desperately want to do.
I'm getting tired of those fearful emotions. I'm tired of staggering.

I'm too scared to face the world. Too scared to face other people. I'm too scared, yet I'm a nobody because I did nothing. D'X

I'm too scared to play PvP; scared of people getting mad at me for my mistakes. People would most likely hate me.

All I do is cry and be lazy while not doing anything to hone my mind and body. I feel so empty and unfulfilled in my life right now.
It's why my face has a lot of signs of stress; I look like I'm aging already.

I feel sooo empty...
I feel as good as dead if I continue to be in inertia.

There's no real happiness in my daily life, because I'm not working nor playing whatsoever.

My ruminating thoughts and intellect is driving me insane.

Nothing sticks in my memory. They just come and go...
Even the things I learned in the past are fading away unless I re-enforce those memories.