Building trust through a change of mind
This is a repost of the original from my previous blog at https://world.hey.com/jaran.flaath
Changing our minds is one of the most difficult things we human beings do. We very easily marry our beliefs, and this bond grows stronger and stronger with more evidence to the contrary of our stance.
As David Heinemeier Hansson points out in one of his recent posts, this is perhaps even more difficult when your opinions has been filling up your social feeds for years. How will it look if your blatant stance on something changes to the opposite? “I'll come across as a huge hypocrite! Better dig in deeper and ride the storm.”
Changing your mind is in fact a great way to build trust. You should welcome any opportunity to be converted to a different view in face of new information. There is little more trust building than presenting someone with new information and have them admit “You know what? This changes everything. Thank you for showing me this and changing my mind”.
There is no weakness in changing your mind. Quite the opposite; it's a huge show of strength. And it shows that this is a person you can trust. In the face of information they will not cling to their beliefs, but consume and consider the information. If evident they were wrong, they will change their mind.
This obviously goes both ways. Your current beliefs may be just as wrong, and should be changed in face of new information.
I believe this is also the case when interacting with your kids. There is no greater way to build trust with your kids than to admit you were wrong and change your mind. Not to forget you are also giving them an invaluable trait in teaching them it is OK to be wrong.
As a parent it's easy to react harshly, stand too firm, or react with disproportionate punishment. Parenting is hard, and it's difficult to process feelings, information and navigate parenting best practices at the rate the kids grow up. Being faced with arguments from your kids and admitting you were wrong, and they right, can be a huge trust builder. It's not a display of weakness, it's a huge show of strength.
Don't dig in deep. Be open and curious. It will build your trust in others and their trust in you.