one thing that i can teach you maybe,
don't hold on to it.
this feeling of freedom, the lucid breath,
you can't trap it into your ego.
while meditating i was disappointed that i wasn't feeling free
or in meditative trance
then however i tried to accept even that, even that i cant meditate
accept that i have an ego and having an ego is not a bad thing
and only after that i could feel free again
as long as you try to reach it or hold on to it – it will be very difficult, if not impossible
first accept that you wont get there, feel hell and make it heaven
the feeling of gentle, loving kindness
the clear and fresh sword of ease
in clearity comes strength
these words are nothing compared to that, dont hold on to them either,
its hard to achieve anyways
and please dont think youre some kind of superhuman or sth thanks