A Secret Loneliness
While swimming against the tide for months or years on end, struggling to keep your head above waterto keep your boat pointing in vaguely the right direction, or at least a direction that won't cause too many stares from strangers, you lose sight of yourself.
You forget that you used to be somebodythat you used to have friends, that you used to go out, that those stories you sometimes recount kind of abruptly stopped seven or eight years ago, and you really have no more stories other than ones about poo, sick, teachers, schools, or Sunday mornings standing in freezing cold sports fields to share.
You find yourself sitting up late at night, pretending you're still somebody, emptying your head into the swirling morass of the internet, and searching for like minded wanderers to waste a little time with.