jonathan.beckett@gmail.com

A Weekend Off

Well this is unexpected. No scheduled football match for Miss 13, rugby cancelled due to lack of numbers, and football called off for Miss 12 due to an unplayable pitch this morning (of course the call went out as we were all running around the house shouting at each other – “you SAID you got your kit ready last NIGHT!” – the common refrain on a weekend morning).

Suddenly the weekend has become our own – which is fortuitous, given events of the last few days.

On Thursday afternoon Miss 17’s life was threatened on Snapchat by somebody unknown to her. She spent the late afternoon with her college safety officer, too scared to come home because she would have to walk from the bus stop to our house in the dark. She was told to block the account, which of course destroyed the evidence – why on earth the safety officer didn’t ask her to screenshot the messages as evidence, I’ll never know – it was the first thing I asked her. Bang went any chance to report it to the police, and gift the idiot a free criminal record.

She went home with a friend, and would have to be picked up – which of course coincided with the “night of mayhem” – Thursday nights have always been a nightmare at home – I think all of the children’s clubs in town collude with one another to cause everything to happen on the same night. We generally find ourselves running between dance classes and football practice throughout the evening. There are two of us, and three children – so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one problem can derail everything.

Everything seems to have calmed down now. I will admit to spending several hours on Thursday night learning every damn corner of the Snapchat app. I also found the person that sent the threatening messages. I’ll play a waiting game – I may even advise Miss 17 to unblock him – give him enough rope to hang himself, and then win . I learned two things about Snapchat; firstly, that the app is awful – easily the least intuitive social app out there. Secondly, the safety options in Snapchat very clearly put the onus on the users to protect themselves – they take little or no responsibility in resolving safeguarding situations. I get it – if you build a social network at that scale, running a sizeable safety team to deal with issues around the world is expensive – I was still shocked that their reporting procedure is so difficult to find though.

Fun times.

Miss 12 is now trying to play myself and my other half off against each other to arrange a sleepover with one of her friends from school. She has already been told it’s not happening – she thinks she can ask each of us in turn, and get a different answer. I just walked into the lounge and recited her second attempt back to her Mum, right in front of her. She’s busy looking at her feet now. It never ends.

Right. It’s just gone 10am. Sitting here writing this isn’t achieving anything constructive. Next stop – supermarket. I foresee crusty bread, nice cheese, and soup to get us through a quiet weekend at home. A quiet weekend where Miss 12 and 13 have just decided to make slime, and bath bombs (don’t ask). They are in the process of wrecking the kitchen, and already arguing like cat and dog. I’m getting out of here now.