Avoidance
I’m sitting at my desk at work, struggling to find the enthusiasm to drag the thing I’m working on over the finish line. There isn’t a finish line as such though – more “the next finish line”. Next week there will be another one, and another the follow week. The pattern will continue throughout the year. The clock in the corner of the computer monitor says it’s half past two in the afternoon. I’m pretty sure the clock is slowing down to spite me.
While sitting here, avoiding getting on with anything, it occurs to me that if I had kept going with a “smart” phone I would have any number of supposedly social apps at my fingertips, filled with people ready and waiting to jump down the internet rabbit hole with me. Oh who am I kidding – I’ve chatted with about four people in the last year.
I’ve always preferred email over instant messaging, and have tried to keep in touch with distant friends through either writing random emails, or reading their blogs and commenting. Spending the last hour of the day catching up with people that ask nothing of me is a wonderful escape. I will admit to looking at the price of smart phones against recently though – if only so I can text message a little faster than a sloth covered in molasses.
I seem to spend most of my time at the moment avoiding things – work, people, conversation, conflict. Am I avoiding conflict? It’s hard to tell sometimes.
The predicted conflict with Miss 17 didn’t happen. I got in from work last night and ducked my head into her bedroom – asking if she had noticed the absence of the video games, or huge-ass monitor. She didn’t seem to care. I closed the bedroom door, and audibly exhaled. Of course now I’m wondering – is her relative calm the portent of a bigger storm to come?