jonathan.beckett@gmail.com

Breaking the Streak

It just occurred to me that I haven't written a blog post since Saturdaywhich breaks a streak where I posted every day for quite some time (I'm too lazy to actually go and look). Let's just settle on “I post too much crap to this blog”.

So what did we get up to yesterday then? We went to the Ricoh Arena, about a hundred miles north of home, to watch Waspsthe rugby team that used to play just down the road from usannihilate Harlequins. It was my first visit to their new stadium, and it was bloody freezing. For the first time in I don't know how long all five of us went along, wrapped up like honorary eskimos. Our seats were down in the front rowwhich you would think would be a good thing, except the TV camera crew running up and down the touchline continually got in the way.

After the game finished the kids wanted to go to the store attached to the stadium, so we essentially walked an entire lap of the stadium to find it, and looked at replica shirts that cost more than our car. The kids ended up buying the cheapest thing in the placea team branded plastic water bottle that cost more than a good bottle of wine. I just stood, handing out money like the Dad in “Married with Children”it appears to be my role in pretty much all situations these days.

After rugby we drove home, and went to TGI Fridays for dinner. Oh my god. I can't remember the last time I ate so much, but when we finally got home I felt so sick it was ridiculous. I think the burger I ordered was called “Bruce Lee” (I looked at the menu with our 15 year old, and drove everybody else nuts doing Bruce Lee impersonations). When it arrived at the table, it was kind of like half the contents of the local chinese takeaway had been re-friend and thrown in a burger bun, along with the burger. It didn't help that I had asked for beef chilli with my chips (it was an option on the menu, and I was curious). Yes, I am a pig sometimes.

Not as much of a pig as the people on the table behind us though. I couldn't help noticing the food arriving at their table. The fattest guy at the table (and no, he didn't fit on his chair properly) took delivery of what can only be described as half a brontosaurus. His wifeor at least I presume she was his wifereceived something similar. I can only imagine how long it must have taken them to plough through itit was ridiculous. At least now we know how the dinosaurs became extinctMiss 15 ordered a “Pulled Pork burger”, which turned out to be a normal burger, covered in pork, and gallons of Jack Daniels sauce. So much of the stuff that she too felt sick (but good sick, not the stupid “can't move” sick suffered by yours truly).

I ended up going to bed at 11 last nightbut not before world war three broke out around the household. Miss 15 once again lined up a masterplan to avoid school today, and set it in motion, fighting a running battle about washing her hair that would eventually result in getting into bed in her clothes, and not talking to anybody for the rest of the night (or this morning). Guess who got to make the phone call to school this morning?Today has (so far) been a far more predictable affairorganising stuff ahead of two site visits with work this week. Site visits usually mean getting up at the crack of dawn, and not getting home until late. I'm away on Thursday, which will go down like an atom bomb at home. Thursday is the worst day of the entire week for me to ever be away, and my project manager seems to delight in doing it.

OhThursday this week is also my birthday. I'll be away on my Birthday, and probably not home in time for the kids to even see me open anything they get me.

Somebody remind me why I'm not applying to Automattic for a job? Who on earth decided being a software and web developer on the Microsoft stack was a good idea? Oh yeah right that would be me. Except I didn't really decide itI just kind of drifted into it.

What I really need to do is win the lottery, and then stick my fingers up and everybody and everything before wandering off to live in obscurity somewhere (but obviously somewhere with a good internet connection).

You're probably wondering why there is a picture of an empty lunchbox accompanying this post. Probably because I still couldn't face anything to eat this morning while making packed lunches, so didn't make anything for myself. Of course I'm starving now