Departure Daydreams
It's been an interesting day – not least because the huge project that has devoured my life over the course of the last few months has gone live, and is suddenly becalmed – with thousands of people interacting with it, and hundreds more overseeing it. The world doesn't stand still however – I'm already working on another project – facing another mountain.
A co-worker sprang a surprise on us all this morning – announcing that he has handed his notice in. He's taken a job working in London – chasing a career path, and more money. While initially envious, when I started thinking about the commute, the cost of the commute, and the hit he will take on his life, I kept quiet. Good luck to him. I did it for a couple of years, and although I often say I miss it, I'm not sure I could do it again.
It's funny – when somebody leaves that you've known for a long time, the conversation in the office falls in-line with the 'if I won the lottery' conversation. 'If I ever left, I would do this', or 'If I left, I would do that'. While this circular conversation went on, the focus fell on me, and I think everybody was somewhat surprised.
'If I ever leave, I can't imagine I'll work in IT again'.
My co-workers thought I was joking, until I explained that I've pretty much been there and done it now – I've designed and built software used by thousands, taught rooms full of people how to build things all over the country, flown back and forth across Europe helping various organisations to lurch forwards – and I'm kind of done with it all.
Sure, I'll carry on plodding for the foreseeable future, but that has more to do with expectation and obligation than any sort of mission or aim. I need to pay a mortgage, put food on the table, and keep the lights on. My job allows that to happen. Sometimes I feel a bit trapped by it, but in the grand scheme of things it's not the most terrible burden to carry.
When wondering what I might do if given a choice, I wonder about writing – or perhaps working somewhere that deals with writing. Given the near twenty year legacy of blog posts dragging behind me across the various internet platforms, it might seem natural that I would end up at Automattic or Tumblr. Perhaps one day.
I wonder if Matt looks out for posts like these?
In other news, the running shoes have arrived – they're sitting on the floor next to the chair I'm sitting in right now. Miss 19's running shoes arrived too. We almost went out for a run this evening, but the rain had other ideas. Of course the rain hasn't stopped our bat-shit crazy little black cat from paddling into and out of the house all evening, leaving foot shaped puddles throughout the kitchen and lounge.