Eating Alone
After work this evening I walked the tremendous distance – about 100 yards – to the pub adjoining the hotel for something hot to eat. I wondered in, walked straight to the bar, ordered a pint of cider to drink, beef and merlot pie to eat, and then found a quiet corner to sit in. It struck me that I asked “please may I have a pint of cider”, the girl behind the bar replied “of course you can” in a musical, girlish tone that Marilyn Monroe would have been proud of.
While waiting I started people watching. It's the best pastime in the world.
There was a guy at the bar ordering a drink. He was perhaps mid 50s, short grey hair, glasses, and an immaculately tended short beard. He was wearing a waistcoat with a pattern on it, which didn't altogether go with the rest of his clothes (jeans, and a dark shirt). After ordering his food he noticed something about the phone the girl behind the bar had tucked into her jeans pocket. Apparently he knew the owner of the network on Facebook. Who on earth starts a conversation with a stranger by name-dropping people they “know” on Facebook? (actually, scratch that – I know somebody who would do exactly that).
A few moments later a workman approached the bar, wearing a blue t-shirt. He was full of stories about his day. Apparently he had not eaten all day. Nothing to eat all day. He kept repeating himself. Nothing to eat all day. Except a Big Mac, two chocolate bars, and a coffee from Starbucks. Nothing all day. I nearly burst out laughing. He had a broad west-midlands accent, which made his pronouncements somehow even funnier (for those of you in the US, think Noddy Holder of Slade fame).
There was a new girl serving in the bar this evening – obviously her first day. I don't think I've ever seen anybody look quite so nervous. She delivered food to my table, almost apologising for breathing in the process. I smiled, and tried to relax her a little – thanking her for everything she had done.
While eating I watched a blonde girl walking from table to table around the bar and attached restaurant. She was stunning, but there was something odd about her. Whenever she approached anybody, her entire demeanour changed – you might have suspected she was approaching somebody with some form of pox. A few minutes later I figured it out – she was charming, happy, and welcoming to couples, but frosty, distant, and standoffish with single men. I realised she probably gets hit on all the time, and this was the result. For a few moments I wished I had my other half with me, so I would see the happy side, rather than the circumspect side.
One of the advantages of paying for the food up-front isthat I canfinish, and then get the hell out of dodge. It helps that I am here on my own – when I travel with co-workers (typically a project manager) – you end up not going to dinner until late in the evening, and then sitting in the restaurant for hours trying to make conversation. I know this sounds awful, but I really can't be bothered – if I work with you, I don't want to spend my evening with you too.