jonathan.beckett@gmail.com

Embracing the Quiet

While walking into town to get groceries this morning I forgot to take headphones with me so instead of filling my head with a podcast or music, I had only my thoughts for company. All manner of thoughts bounced around my head as I walked the mile or so in each direction. Now I'm home, I'm not so sure than any of it really stands up – or rather, the little that I can now recall.

I've been coming up blank a lot recently.

Having something to write about helps. Churning through one day after another at home doesn't really help. Every day becomes groundhog-day – filled with washing up, tidying up, grocery shopping, and so on.

Maybe I need to step up and take a few chances. Empty the darker corners of my brain. I wonder if it's a slippery slope though – a pandora's box.

I filter so much.

While walking home from town earlier, I started making a mental list of all the things I filter – everything from personal interactions to thoughts, opinions, hopes, dreams, annoyances. It seems that if anything is even vaguely controversial I stay far away from it. I have dug a hole for myself – a deep hole.