People Who Know Everything
I keep seeing blog posts on the internet explaining everything about every single aspect of life – things nobody has probably ever thought about, and perhaps crucially, things most people don't really care about – and by “most people”, I mean everybody except the author.
Blogs seem to offer advice and guidance on everything from why you are fat, to why your marriage failed, why people are nasty to you, why you will die horribly unless you eat these vitamins, why their god will save you, why you can't get a date, and just about anything else you can think of – and lots of things you cannot think of. I can't help wondering who the hell reads it all.
Maybe the people that write these blogs just can't shut up. Maybe they are the kids we all remember from school that had opinions on everything, claimed to have seen every movie ever, claimed to have got up to all sorts of things they shouldn't have, and so on. Maybe they are the internet equivalent of the school friends we dare not un-friend on Facebook, but that we safely keep at arms length, because they will comment on everything if you let them.
Maybe I'm missing the point. I should be setting up blogs filled with attention grabbing headlines – “Why I stopped eating horse meat, and became an animal rights activist”, “Why I don't go on one-night-stands everynight any more”, or “Ten ways you can be awesome like me too”.
People love lists. Perhaps I should write more posts with lists of things in them. Nonsensical lists (I wonder if anybody would spot the irony). Lists of favourite mouldy foods, shoes that lasted the longest, clothes I don't wear but haven't thrown away...