The Chainsaw Trouser Trick
When I got up this morning I looked outside and made the snap decision to not wear shorts – for the first time in several days. As long as clients are not visiting the office, we're allowed to wear whatever we want (within reason, obviously). If clients are visiting, it's shirt and tie. I can typically be found in baggy combat shorts, and a nerdy t-shirt. I would like to say I choose the t-shirts based on my mood on a given day, but in reality I just grab the first clean t-shirt I find.
So. I wasn't wearing shorts. After a cursory search around the bedroom, I found a pair of cargo pants, and slid them on. And that was the last I thought about them until about an hour later, while cycling through the middle of town.
It turns out the exposed chain and sprocket on my new bike – while wonderfully minimalist and aesthetically beautiful – also double as a very efficient chainsaw. One moment I was turning the pedals, the next moment I was watching the bottom inch of my trouser flap around my foot, after being sheared cleanly off by the bike.
I will admit – my first reaction went something along the likes of “oh for f*cks sake!“, but then I started to see the funny side. By the time I arrived in the office it had kind of made my morning.
So – if anybody has any trousers they want hemming, give them to me and I'll wear them while riding my bike to work. It cuts cloth very cleanly... well... apart from the last few inches where it mangles the heck out of everything, and grinds oil into the material for good measure.