The one where I fell over
Ifellover on my way home from the dinner with friends on Friday night. We were turning a corner in the dark on an unfamiliar road, and I walked out onto a grass verge to give my other half room. In a kind of cross between ballet and rugby, my feet slid from under me in the wet mud (it had been raining all evening), and the whole world turned upside down for a few moments in slow motion.
As I tumbled over my other half panicked, asking “Are you alright?“Why do people do that? Why do they ask if you are alright when you've just done something stupid? I remember once when I was young my Dad fell down the stairs early in the morning. He was probably walking around in the dark, making his way downstairs, and missed a step. All we knew was that we were jarred awake by the kind of sound you might imagine would accompany the house falling down. A few moments later my Mum appeared on the landing in her robe.“Are you alright?”“WHAT DO YOU FUCKING THINK!“Here's a questionhow is it you never hurt yourself if you fall over when you've had a few drinks? If you fall over in the daytime while stone-cold-sober, you invariably do yourself all sorts of mischief. I somehow got away with it last night, and I'm convinced it was because I had drunk a few glasses of wine during the evening.
Note to selfnext time you think you're going to fall over, have a drink a couple of hours beforehand.